first commit
This commit is contained in:
tiff
parent
a3f5f5f701
commit
207c82578f
137 changed files with 4659 additions and 8605 deletions
4
src/content/bench/bench.md
Normal file
4
src/content/bench/bench.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Workbench
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
22
src/content/blog/back-for-better-worse.mdx
Normal file
22
src/content/blog/back-for-better-worse.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Wow, Been a While, Huh?
|
||||
description: "Trigger Warning: all the trauma"
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-12-16"
|
||||
date: "2024-12-16"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Used Neovim to write this post and accidentally closed the pane in Zellij which means I lost the whole fucking document.
|
||||
|
||||
So, long story short:
|
||||
|
||||
- I lived in a shoebox, a filthy, stinky, smoky shoebox
|
||||
- I was spiraling mentally which meant I did not take care of myself, constantly spiraling between wanting to suck on a pistol, and literally banging my head against the wall. That is not hyperbole; I'd bang my head against the wall, or ball up my fists and hit myself in the cranium. I was not well.
|
||||
- The sent me to a high tech hospital to get better and to find a place to live as my roommates son came home and I had to leave and it was definitely the right move for both of us.
|
||||
- I found a company that rents to folks needing to get back on their feet. I have a pretty large judgement against me after losing my job and being without income for five months and these folks looked past all of that and let me rent this motel room outside of the city.
|
||||
|
||||
I am staying in a really quiet, clean, well-lighted place, and I am lost.
|
||||
|
||||
<video controls width="650">
|
||||
|
||||
<source src="https://res.cloudinary.com/diajberzp/video/upload/v1734411226/cwlp_2_uhdj3i.mp4" type="video/mp4" />
|
||||
</video>
|
||||
64
src/content/blog/back-to-books.mdx
Normal file
64
src/content/blog/back-to-books.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,64 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Back to Books
|
||||
description: Social media has broken me. It's back to books and BBForums to rescue what's left of my sanity.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
date: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import mobileread from "../../assets/mobileread.png";
|
||||
import mrprofile from "../../assets/mr-profile.png";
|
||||
import goodreads from "../../assets/goodreads.png";
|
||||
import mapleread from "../../assets/ipad-pro-2018-mapleread.jpeg";
|
||||
import calibre from "../../assets/calibre.png";
|
||||
|
||||
I have become increasing suicidal watching the world regress into global fascism with its whole chest on Mastodon, and every other social site on earth. I have deleted all my Instagram accounts except one, my Twitter accounts I never use, my Facebook account I created as a brand and never use, kept LinkedIn and Lemmy instances and I'm only logged into a few Mastodon instances. I have to use LinkedIn as I look for work and network on the site, despite me hating that kind of interaction. LinkedIn is a capitalist hellscape and I hate it.
|
||||
|
||||
## The Great Reset
|
||||
|
||||
I hate Discord. I hate Slack. I don't do well with those kinds of online social interactions. Watching YouTube garbage is rotting my brain[^1].
|
||||
|
||||
I decided that I need to go back to my roots: BBForums and _reading books_.
|
||||
|
||||
I've been reading books since I was 3 years old; my mom, though she couldn't read really at all herself, read to me every night. Children's books are easy enough, so she would read me something nightly because I enjoyed it. So one day, I remember picking up the Golden spine childrens book _The Little Red Hen_ and sounding out the words myself (I didn't know how to sound out _lettuce_ until maybe 2nd grade), and I ran downstairs and said, "mommy! mommy! Look!" and proceeded to read the book followed by multiple calls to family members to show them my parlor trick.
|
||||
|
||||
I would read voraciously from that day until around the age of 16 when the psychosis and despair were fucking with my brain real heavy. I couldn't concentrate for shit as my brain was filled with outside voices that would say shit to me on repeat.
|
||||
|
||||
I wouldn't be able to pick books back up again until much later, around the age of 27 when I got on my current meds which are starting to fail me. I picked up a Jonathan Kellerman book and off to the races I went.
|
||||
|
||||
Eventually I found the Mobileread website and forums. It was there I found the ebook management software Calibre. A friend of mine taught me how to 🏴☠️ books on Demonoid and I must have downloaded 4000 books, most of which I tossed because I am no longer interested in them. Once I was employed I bought books, lots of them and in order to actually _read_ them on _whatever I fucking want_ I used DeDRM tools in Calibre to make that happen.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={calibre} alt="screenshot of my calibre library" />
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={mobileread} alt="screenshot of Mobileread forums" />
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={mrprofile} alt="screenshot of my Mobileread profile" />
|
||||
_Going to this forum daily has finally gotten me to realize I am an old person.
|
||||
I can no longer deny or fight that fact._
|
||||
|
||||
## Goodreads
|
||||
|
||||
I used Goodreads _a lot_ around 2009-2016. I was trying to do that MFA thing before I realized I was dirt poor and that shit is for trust fund babies and even if I were to get a full ride to do it, I'd still be dirt poor. I decided to do what I've always wanted to do and work in tech. The pay was great but I actually enjoy tech. It didn't matter if it was $50-60Kor if I was making or $120K, I wanted to work in tech.
|
||||
|
||||
So I did. I started to read more non-fiction and noped out of Goodreads. It had been hard to find the time to read when I was on social media and consuming other things. I've always been a completionist for everything I read or games I play and it's taken me quite a while to realize that time is finite and I am running out of it so if I don't jive with a book or game, just put it down. So I do that now.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={goodreads} alt="screenshot of my Goodread profile" />
|
||||
|
||||
## Fiction
|
||||
|
||||
I was listening to a lot of true crime books as, funny enough, there are a couple narrators I fall asleep to and books that aren't too gory for me to sleep with while listening. However I began to notice it taking a toll on me mentally. Sometimes I'd dream about the book I was listening to while I was sleeping and I already have night terrors practically nightly for which I take medication. I began to feel darker than usual.
|
||||
|
||||
I missed actually reading things that made me feel good. I missed using my eInk ereader. And I missed _good fiction_. So I picked up a childhood favorite, _It's Like This, Cat_ a 1963 Newberry Award winner I begged my mom to get me from the Scholastic Book fair.
|
||||
|
||||
I am enjoying the hell out of that on my Kindle Paperwhite; they had it as a freebie on Amazon years ago and as someone who has always loved cats (I mean if you ain't know that by now, idk what to tell you) I decided to revist the book which is more adult than I remember it being.
|
||||
|
||||
I also reread, for maybe the 20th time, Amy Hempel's short story _In the Cemetery Where Al Jolson is Buried_. I read it for creative writing class a long time ago. It was written in 1983 for a university fiction journal and I remember it breaking me every time I read it. If you're a woman or woman presenting person with a best friend you love more than anything this story will hurt you in all the best and worst ways. You can find it as a PDF on Fictionaut. Hit me up if you want it and I'll email it to you.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={mapleread} alt="photo of my old iPad with Mapleread open" />
|
||||
|
||||
## Back to bed
|
||||
|
||||
I've been sick a lot while living here and last night was the first night in about two months I actually had any energy so I cleaned the floor and tried to upgrade this site to v3 which broke pretty much everything. I reverted back and now I need to sleep; it is almost 6:30 AM.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: I have Yatee to keep that shit at a minimum but I log into the web interface anyway and I really wish there was a way to completely block that site forever... I actually can. I will do that today.
|
||||
21
src/content/blog/cat.mdx
Normal file
21
src/content/blog/cat.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Catte.
|
||||
description: Cuz she's my girl and that's alright...if she bites me I won't mind.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
date: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import bby from '../../assets/felis-interruptus.jpg'
|
||||
|
||||
Here is Catte trying my patience at my cybersecurity lab:
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Here is Catte judging my gaming skills:
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={bby} alt="my cat"/>
|
||||
|
||||
I love Catte. She is 11 going on 12. She is precious baby.
|
||||
14
src/content/blog/cold-kill-review.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/blog/cold-kill-review.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Cold Kill Review
|
||||
description: One of the best crime reads I've ever read
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-11-30"
|
||||
date: "2022-11-30"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Jack Olsen is a master at weaving compelling tales about the crimes of some of the most sinister, violent, and stupid people on earth.
|
||||
|
||||
This book was no different.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
cold-kill-review.png
|
||||
28
src/content/blog/corporations-give-no-fucks.mdx
Normal file
28
src/content/blog/corporations-give-no-fucks.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Corporations just don't give a fuck
|
||||
description: Show me the moneyyyyyyy!!
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
date: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## Corporations are not to be loved
|
||||
|
||||
[Brent Simmons from Inessential](https://inessential.com/2024/01/17/corporations_are_not_to_be_loved.html) writes:
|
||||
|
||||
> I started using Apple computers — and writing code for them, starting with BASIC — 43 years ago, before the Macintosh, even, and I’ve made this my career. I’ve had all these decades to really, thoroughly delight in these incredible machines and software, and to give a little back with my own apps.
|
||||
|
||||
[...]
|
||||
|
||||
> But I need to remember, now and again, that Apple is a corporation, and corporations aren’t people, and they can’t love you back. You wouldn’t love GE or Exxon or Comcast — and you shouldn’t love Apple. It’s not an exception to the rule: there are no exceptions.
|
||||
|
||||
> Apple doesn’t care about you personally in the least tiny bit, and if you were in their way somehow, they would do whatever their might — effectively infinite compared to your own — enables them to deal with you.
|
||||
|
||||
As I said to a friend tonight:
|
||||
|
||||
> I have so much angst and so much to say and yet no one is here to listen. I feel like I am becoming a bit radicalized watching all of this, realizing that at the end of the day the people who employ you, the companies you like, don’t give a single fuck about you and they would drive over your corpse after pissing on it for 15 minutes if it means a 1% increase in share price.
|
||||
|
||||
Corporations are not people. They are here to suck every last bit of capital from every entity and person on earth.
|
||||
|
||||
I have *no* allegiance to any one company, and I *loved* Apple.
|
||||
|
||||
Keep the fucks. It's not [like there's](https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/feb/06/is-big-tech-now-just-too-big-to-stomach) a [tide turning against Big Tech](https://archive.ph/3BlJC) [or anything](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20240207-big-tech-layoffs-perks-cuts)... 🤷🏽♀️
|
||||
99
src/content/blog/default-apps.mdx
Normal file
99
src/content/blog/default-apps.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,99 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Default Apps
|
||||
description: My default apps from 2023.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
date: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
People are [writing](https://canion.blog/2023/11/04/duel-of-the.html) about [their](https://ericmwalk.blog/2023/11/06/application-defaults.html) [default apps](https://gabz.blog/post/my-defaults-tpq2ulkn) in the [small community](https://blog.bdw.li/posts/app-defaults/) that is the indie web. Here are mine.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
📫 Mail Server/Service and Client
|
||||
- Fastmail on iOS and iPadOS
|
||||
- FMail2, free and open source Fastmail client for macOS
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📝 Notes
|
||||
- Notes app
|
||||
- Obsidian
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
✅ To-do
|
||||
- Things
|
||||
- Taskpaper
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📸 iPhone Photography
|
||||
- Moment Pro Photo app
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📹 iPhone videography
|
||||
- Moment Pro Photo app
|
||||
- Filmic Pro Legacy
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🟦 Photo Management
|
||||
- RAW Photos
|
||||
- Photos.app
|
||||
- PowerPhotos (macOS only)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📆 Calendar
|
||||
- Calendars 366
|
||||
- Structured Calendar (Lifetime purchase)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📆 Calendar Backend
|
||||
- Fastmail
|
||||
- iCloud
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📂 Cloud File Storage
|
||||
- iCloud
|
||||
- Nextcloud[^1]
|
||||
- Synology Drive
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📰 RSS
|
||||
- NetNewsWire & Readwise Reader
|
||||
- RSS Backend iCloud[^2]
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🔍 Browser
|
||||
- Arc
|
||||
- Safari
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
💬 Chat
|
||||
- iMessage
|
||||
- Signal
|
||||
- IRC
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🔖 Bookmarks
|
||||
- Notes.app
|
||||
- Goodlinks
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📜 Word Processing
|
||||
- VS Code
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🤑 Budgeting
|
||||
- Google Sheets
|
||||
- My bank app
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🎶 Music
|
||||
- Downloaded tracks with yt-dlp
|
||||
- IINA on macOS
|
||||
- Still need to pony up for iTunes Match
|
||||
- YouTube Music
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🎙️ Podcasts
|
||||
- Overcast, though I am really finding I am done with the majority of Apple and tech focused podcasts. Been listening to this stuff for over 10 years now. Need a breather.
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🔐 Password Management
|
||||
- 1Password[^3]
|
||||
- Vaultwarden[^4]
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📸 Photo Editing
|
||||
- RAW Photos
|
||||
- Darkroom
|
||||
- Photomator
|
||||
- Pixelmator Pro
|
||||
- Pixelmator Photo
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
What are yours?
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: I am unfortunately still out of work and I've had to find creative ways to cut back on expenses. I self host a lot of services where I am staying, my friend's mom letting me setup my home lab in my room. I can host these services for free. It is not for the faint of heart; if you hate tinkering, if you hate doing research on bug fixing and troubleshooting, if you hate learning how to secure a network and fight the bots that will inevitably pummel your network with junk packets, if you hate YAML, it isn't for you.
|
||||
[^2]: I am looking at moving away from as many proprietary services as I can so FreshRSS, another self-hosted alternative to RSS backends will be my move. NetNewsWire has the option to grab your feeds from your own self-hosted RSS service.
|
||||
[^3]: I love 1Password. I have everything in it. The problem for me right now is affordability. I don't think it is possible for me to switch as it's just too important to my workflow; ssh keys, GitHub tokens, all of this built right into the client. It's just too good.
|
||||
[^4]: I am testing out Vaultwarden as a 1Password alternative. It is an open source client you can, *surprise surprise*, self-host. It is *severely* lacking in features so it looks like 1Password is still my go to for the foreseeable future.
|
||||
85
src/content/blog/defaults-2024.mdx
Normal file
85
src/content/blog/defaults-2024.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,85 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Default Apps 2024
|
||||
description: Back with the default apps roundup for 2024
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-12-25"
|
||||
date: "2024-12-26"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
It's the eve of 2025 and it is time for another default apps post.
|
||||
|
||||
> Updated 2025-03-06 to reflect changes in workflow.
|
||||
|
||||
- 📫 Mail Server
|
||||
- Fastmail
|
||||
- 📨 Mail Client
|
||||
- Nextcloud Mail
|
||||
- Fastmail
|
||||
- Thunderbird
|
||||
- 📂 Cloud File Storage
|
||||
- Nextcloud
|
||||
- 🌐 Browser
|
||||
- Vivaldi
|
||||
- Zen
|
||||
- 📆 Calendar
|
||||
- Nextcloud Calendar
|
||||
- 📑 Read It Later
|
||||
- Readeck
|
||||
- 💬 Chat
|
||||
- Signal, Nextcloud Talk, Wire, Matrix, IRC
|
||||
- 📝 Notes
|
||||
- Nextcloud Notes
|
||||
- Plain text
|
||||
- Markdown files
|
||||
- ✅ To-do
|
||||
- Nextcloud Tasks
|
||||
- 📸 iPhone Photography
|
||||
- Halide II
|
||||
- Moment
|
||||
- iOS Camera
|
||||
- 🔲 Photo Management
|
||||
- Raw Photos
|
||||
- Photos App
|
||||
- PowerPhotos
|
||||
- 📰 RSS
|
||||
- FreshRSS for sync (selfhosted)
|
||||
- Reeder 5 (iOS)
|
||||
- ReadYOU (Android)
|
||||
- 👯 Contacts
|
||||
- Apple Contacts
|
||||
- Fastmail Contacts
|
||||
- Nextcloud Contacts
|
||||
- 🎶 Music
|
||||
- Jellyfin
|
||||
- YouTube Music
|
||||
- 🎙️Podcasts
|
||||
- Apple Podcasts
|
||||
- 🔐 Password Management
|
||||
- 1Password
|
||||
- Vaultwarden
|
||||
|
||||
## Additional Categories
|
||||
|
||||
- 🖥️ Programming
|
||||
- Neovim
|
||||
- LazyVim
|
||||
- Transmit SFTP Client
|
||||
- 💻 Terminal
|
||||
- [Ghostty](https://ghostty.org)
|
||||
- 📷 Photo Editing
|
||||
- Darkroom
|
||||
- 🔃 Version Control
|
||||
- Git/GitHub
|
||||
- Codeberg
|
||||
- [Gitea](https://git.tiff.engineer/)
|
||||
- [Forgejo](https://git.tifflabs.cfd)
|
||||
- 🗞 News
|
||||
- RSS
|
||||
- Hacker News
|
||||
- [Lobsters](https://lobste.rs)
|
||||
- 💰Budgeting and Personal Finance
|
||||
- [Maybe](https://maybefinance.com) (selfhosted)
|
||||
- Spreadsheet
|
||||
|
||||
### Non-Apple Apps
|
||||
|
||||
I have alternatives for some of these apps on Linux and Android. If anyone is interested just give me a holler.
|
||||
13
src/content/blog/depression-sucks.mdx
Normal file
13
src/content/blog/depression-sucks.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Depression is a cruel mistress
|
||||
description: Fuck you you dark, brooding, bastard of misery.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
excerpt: Fuck you you dark, brooding, bastard of misery.
|
||||
date: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Hey there brain, thanks for playing. You know it would be helpful if just for once you could stop misfiring the neurons. It's a complex system up there, no doubt, but I just want like a whole month of _peace_.
|
||||
|
||||
Depression sucks, it's bad, and you should feel bad for making me feel it.
|
||||
|
||||
Would just like a quiet mind.
|
||||
16
src/content/blog/dr-feelgood.mdx
Normal file
16
src/content/blog/dr-feelgood.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: 80's Hair Metal and the quest to stop spiraling
|
||||
description: Dr. Feelgood for when I Feelbad
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-09"
|
||||
excerpt: Dr. Feelgood for when I Feelbad
|
||||
date: "2025-03-09"
|
||||
---
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import doctorfeel from '../../assets/dr-feelgood.png'
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={doctorfeel} alt='screenshot of youtube music dr feelgood by motley crue' />
|
||||
|
||||
It's whatever, man.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -1,16 +0,0 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: 'First post'
|
||||
description: 'Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet'
|
||||
pubDate: 'Jul 08 2022'
|
||||
heroImage: '/blog-placeholder-3.jpg'
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Vitae ultricies leo integer malesuada nunc vel risus commodo viverra. Adipiscing enim eu turpis egestas pretium. Euismod elementum nisi quis eleifend quam adipiscing. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum. Sagittis purus sit amet volutpat. Netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Eget magna fermentum iaculis eu non diam phasellus vestibulum lorem. Varius sit amet mattis vulputate enim. Habitasse platea dictumst quisque sagittis. Integer quis auctor elit sed vulputate mi. Dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet.
|
||||
|
||||
Morbi tristique senectus et netus. Id semper risus in hendrerit gravida rutrum quisque non tellus. Habitasse platea dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet. Tellus molestie nunc non blandit massa. Cursus vitae congue mauris rhoncus. Accumsan tortor posuere ac ut. Fringilla urna porttitor rhoncus dolor. Elit ullamcorper dignissim cras tincidunt lobortis. In cursus turpis massa tincidunt dui ut ornare lectus. Integer feugiat scelerisque varius morbi enim nunc. Bibendum neque egestas congue quisque egestas diam. Cras ornare arcu dui vivamus arcu felis bibendum. Dignissim suspendisse in est ante in nibh mauris. Sed tempus urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi.
|
||||
|
||||
Mollis nunc sed id semper risus in. Convallis a cras semper auctor neque. Diam sit amet nisl suscipit. Lacus viverra vitae congue eu consequat ac felis donec. Egestas integer eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet. Eget magna fermentum iaculis eu non diam. In vitae turpis massa sed elementum. Tristique et egestas quis ipsum suspendisse ultrices. Eget lorem dolor sed viverra ipsum. Vel turpis nunc eget lorem dolor sed viverra. Posuere ac ut consequat semper viverra nam. Laoreet suspendisse interdum consectetur libero id faucibus. Diam phasellus vestibulum lorem sed risus ultricies tristique. Rhoncus dolor purus non enim praesent elementum facilisis. Ultrices tincidunt arcu non sodales neque. Tempus egestas sed sed risus pretium quam vulputate. Viverra suspendisse potenti nullam ac tortor vitae purus faucibus ornare. Fringilla urna porttitor rhoncus dolor purus non. Amet dictum sit amet justo donec enim.
|
||||
|
||||
Mattis ullamcorper velit sed ullamcorper morbi tincidunt. Tortor posuere ac ut consequat semper viverra. Tellus mauris a diam maecenas sed enim ut sem viverra. Venenatis urna cursus eget nunc scelerisque viverra mauris in. Arcu ac tortor dignissim convallis aenean et tortor at. Curabitur gravida arcu ac tortor dignissim convallis aenean et tortor. Egestas tellus rutrum tellus pellentesque eu. Fusce ut placerat orci nulla pellentesque dignissim enim sit amet. Ut enim blandit volutpat maecenas volutpat blandit aliquam etiam. Id donec ultrices tincidunt arcu. Id cursus metus aliquam eleifend mi.
|
||||
|
||||
Tempus quam pellentesque nec nam aliquam sem. Risus at ultrices mi tempus imperdiet. Id porta nibh venenatis cras sed felis eget velit. Ipsum a arcu cursus vitae. Facilisis magna etiam tempor orci eu lobortis elementum. Tincidunt dui ut ornare lectus sit. Quisque non tellus orci ac. Blandit libero volutpat sed cras. Nec tincidunt praesent semper feugiat nibh sed pulvinar proin gravida. Egestas integer eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna.
|
||||
44
src/content/blog/fitting-the-lab.mdx
Normal file
44
src/content/blog/fitting-the-lab.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Moving to Linux, a Series
|
||||
description: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-27"
|
||||
excerpt: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import neofetch from '../../assets/neofetch_hyprshot.png'
|
||||
import fulllabview from '../../assets/full-lab-view.jpg'
|
||||
import closeup from '../../assets/close-up.jpg'
|
||||
|
||||
In his post [migrating from the Apple ecosystem](https://beardystarstuff.net/posts/2025-02-19.html) Bearded Guy talked about the recent cowardice shown by Apple, a platform he's used since 1993, cowtowing to the current regime in the White House. As someone who does not have the luxury of being a cis white man, or white _at all_, the current state of affairs is terrifying me.
|
||||
|
||||
Having Apple, a company I at once admired and bought thousands of dollars worth of hardware once I was able to afford to do so, be _this brazen_ about supporting fascists will never sit right with me.
|
||||
|
||||
The charade about privacy and human rights, looking back now,_disgusts me_ because I believed them. They were the good guys in a sea of corporate evil.
|
||||
|
||||
I should have known better. Corpos gonna corpo, capitalists gonna horde capital, grifters gonna grift. It's a tale as old as time. If there is money to be made and suckers who will pay you for your snake oil, unscrupulous people will do whatever it takes to extract capital from you. That's how it works.
|
||||
|
||||
I am not only forced to do this because of my finances; I wouldn't buy another Mac even if I had the money to. There are extremely capable alternatives on Linux, and I've been downloading them.
|
||||
|
||||
And, I have to say, Linux is _fun_. Some of the apps may not _delight_ but they are functional and _fun_. That's how computing should make a user feel- happy. And Linux makes me feel happy.
|
||||
|
||||
## My distros of choice
|
||||
|
||||
Arch, btw. And an Arch fork CachyOS for the very old laptop.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={neofetch} alt="screenshot of my neofetch terminal on arch linux" />
|
||||
|
||||
## The lab is coming along as well
|
||||
|
||||
Take a peak.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={fulllabview} alt="full view of the lab in the room I stay in" />
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={closeup} alt="close up view of the lab in the room I stay in"/>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Video of the space, with trash that needs to be taken out, tut tut
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
79
src/content/blog/going-from-reeder-to-netnewswire.mdx
Normal file
79
src/content/blog/going-from-reeder-to-netnewswire.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,79 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Going from Reeder to NetNewsWire
|
||||
description: RSS Lives!
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-07-20"
|
||||
date: "2022-07-20"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import reeder from '../../assets/reeder.png'
|
||||
import nnw from '../../assets/nnw.png'
|
||||
import whitenw from '../../assets/white-nnw.png'
|
||||
import blacknw from '../../assets/black-nnw.png'
|
||||
import ipadwhitenw from '../../assets/ipad-nnw.png'
|
||||
import ipadblacknw from '../../assets/ipad-black-nnw.png'
|
||||
|
||||
I've hopped between different RSS reeders ever since I started using RSS back in 2007.
|
||||
|
||||
I was on Windows then and using FeedDemon[^1].
|
||||
|
||||
Eventually I discovered Google Reader and hooked it up with FeedDemon for syncing across to my Samsung Galaxy, the first smartphone I owned back in 2010.
|
||||
|
||||
There were so many different types of RSS readers, my favorite being gReader for Android. It was customizable and easy on the eyes. That was an RSS reader I would stick with until I moved to iPhone in 2014.
|
||||
|
||||
## 2013 and the demise of Google Reader
|
||||
|
||||
I don't need to rehash the seismic shift in the media landscape after Google shutdown Reader. It was devastating for diehard nerds like me and my friends and folks in countries that censored information.
|
||||
|
||||
However from the ashes rose my next RSS sync/reader service, Feedly.
|
||||
|
||||
## The rise of RSS reader sync/apps
|
||||
|
||||
I used a lot of them on iOS and iPad. The list:
|
||||
|
||||
- Mr. Reader
|
||||
- Fiery Feeds
|
||||
- Feedly
|
||||
- Lyre
|
||||
- Reeder
|
||||
- Unread
|
||||
- NetNewsWire
|
||||
|
||||
I enjoyed all of them for different reasons, but the one I kept returning to was Reeder.
|
||||
|
||||
Why? It's one of the most pleasant and beautifully designed apps I've ever used.
|
||||
|
||||
Then NetNewsWire [came back from the dead](https://inessential.com/2018/08/31/netnewswire_comes_home).
|
||||
|
||||
All the usual Apple pundits raved about it and I gave it a shot.
|
||||
|
||||
I disliked it off the bat and went back to Reeder.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={whitenw} alt="NetNewsWire light mode"/>
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={blacknw} alt="NetNewsWire dark mode"/>
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={reeder} alt="Reeder"/>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
## A change of reading habits
|
||||
|
||||
Ever since [Matter](https://hq.getmatter.com/) came on the scene, allowing you to bring in your newsletter subscriptions into one centralized place, I've been looking for a more power user set of reading tools as I've decided to ramp up more of my writing content.
|
||||
|
||||
That plus Obsidian and Shortcuts on the Mac makes for a great research/writing workflow.
|
||||
|
||||
I decided to give NNW a try this past weekend and found that I enjoy it; the interface I found to be too cluttered at first fit right into the new way I consume written media.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={ipadwhitenw} alt="NetNewsWire iPad light mode"/>
|
||||
<Image src={ipadblacknw} alt="NetNewsWire iPad dark mode"/>
|
||||
<Image src={nnw} alt="NetNewsWire"/>
|
||||
|
||||
## What's next?
|
||||
|
||||
I think, for as long as my written media consumption remains the same, NNW is my RSS reader of choice. That may change; nerds are never satisfied with their tools.
|
||||
|
||||
We'll see.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: Which I still miss by the way.
|
||||
14
src/content/blog/i-cannot.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/blog/i-cannot.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: I just can't do it
|
||||
description: Why?
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-04"
|
||||
date: "2025-03-04"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Everyday is a struggle and the fascism continues to creep into democracies across the globe.
|
||||
|
||||
My life has gotten so tiresome that the level in CoD where you're in Burger Town in some suburb and it is dark as hell as the country is expecting a nuke to go off.
|
||||
|
||||
I imagine myself in that situation, in the middle of the road, screaming, "YES! Ha ha YES!" like the Sicko from Sickos Committee. I fear nothing anymore. But I'm tired.
|
||||
|
||||
Like sometimes I just would rather not wake up. And when I do and I open my computer I am reminded I should have stayed in bed, or at least never called the ambulance in 2004 and stayed asleep forever.
|
||||
12
src/content/blog/in-my-feelings.mdx
Normal file
12
src/content/blog/in-my-feelings.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: In My Feelings
|
||||
description: Grief sucks
|
||||
publishDate: "2023-03-17"
|
||||
date: "2023-03-17"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Complex Grief is hell. It's been 2 years since I lost my mom to dementia, my job to COVID, and my therapist who was more than that to me, more like my best friend, all within 9 months.
|
||||
|
||||
I am still not over any of this and I should probably seek grief counseling.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway here's a playlist.
|
||||
14
src/content/blog/installed-arch-btw.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/blog/installed-arch-btw.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Installed Arch, btw
|
||||
description: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-25"
|
||||
excerpt: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import hyprshot from '../../assets/2025-03-25-hyprshot.png'
|
||||
|
||||
Maybe I'll write about the whole switch on this blog but in the meantime, Hyprland rice is the best thing on Linux right now.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={hyprshot} alt="screenshot from hyprshot on Arch"/>
|
||||
26
src/content/blog/lab-new-place.mdx
Normal file
26
src/content/blog/lab-new-place.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: New digs, new lab
|
||||
description: My move has been a bright spot, the first in three years.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-19"
|
||||
excerpt: My move has been a bright spot, the first in three years.
|
||||
date: "2025-03-19"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import roomlab from "../../assets/room-lab-v1.jpg"
|
||||
import backdrop from "../../assets/backdrop-v1.jpeg"
|
||||
|
||||
My uncle, friend, and I rescued the necessary stuff from my storage unit and now everything I own is in this room, where over $30,000 of stuff I owned has been auctioned off at the storage unit I rented that I can no longer afford.
|
||||
|
||||
I grabbed all of my main tech stuff plus my OLED TV which is over at my uncle's room.
|
||||
|
||||
I am currently deciding whether to write about my next endeavor but in the meantime here is how I'm arranging the room:
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={roomlab} alt="picture of my room lab" />
|
||||
*Main lab area with all the electronics and PC gear needed for my next project. Needs a bit of organizing and cleanup but.*
|
||||
|
||||
This is the backdrop I am working on beside my bed. Trying to decide where I should put these framed posters.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={backdrop} alt="the backdrop of content i will never make" />
|
||||
*Main lab area with all the electronics and PC gear needed for my next project*.
|
||||
|
|
@ -1,214 +0,0 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: 'Markdown Style Guide'
|
||||
description: 'Here is a sample of some basic Markdown syntax that can be used when writing Markdown content in Astro.'
|
||||
pubDate: 'Jun 19 2024'
|
||||
heroImage: '/blog-placeholder-1.jpg'
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Here is a sample of some basic Markdown syntax that can be used when writing Markdown content in Astro.
|
||||
|
||||
## Headings
|
||||
|
||||
The following HTML `<h1>`—`<h6>` elements represent six levels of section headings. `<h1>` is the highest section level while `<h6>` is the lowest.
|
||||
|
||||
# H1
|
||||
|
||||
## H2
|
||||
|
||||
### H3
|
||||
|
||||
#### H4
|
||||
|
||||
##### H5
|
||||
|
||||
###### H6
|
||||
|
||||
## Paragraph
|
||||
|
||||
Xerum, quo qui aut unt expliquam qui dolut labo. Aque venitatiusda cum, voluptionse latur sitiae dolessi aut parist aut dollo enim qui voluptate ma dolestendit peritin re plis aut quas inctum laceat est volestemque commosa as cus endigna tectur, offic to cor sequas etum rerum idem sintibus eiur? Quianimin porecus evelectur, cum que nis nust voloribus ratem aut omnimi, sitatur? Quiatem. Nam, omnis sum am facea corem alique molestrunt et eos evelece arcillit ut aut eos eos nus, sin conecerem erum fuga. Ri oditatquam, ad quibus unda veliamenimin cusam et facea ipsamus es exerum sitate dolores editium rerore eost, temped molorro ratiae volorro te reribus dolorer sperchicium faceata tiustia prat.
|
||||
|
||||
Itatur? Quiatae cullecum rem ent aut odis in re eossequodi nonsequ idebis ne sapicia is sinveli squiatum, core et que aut hariosam ex eat.
|
||||
|
||||
## Images
|
||||
|
||||
### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
### Output
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
## Blockquotes
|
||||
|
||||
The blockquote element represents content that is quoted from another source, optionally with a citation which must be within a `footer` or `cite` element, and optionally with in-line changes such as annotations and abbreviations.
|
||||
|
||||
### Blockquote without attribution
|
||||
|
||||
#### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
> Tiam, ad mint andaepu dandae nostion secatur sequo quae.
|
||||
> **Note** that you can use _Markdown syntax_ within a blockquote.
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
#### Output
|
||||
|
||||
> Tiam, ad mint andaepu dandae nostion secatur sequo quae.
|
||||
> **Note** that you can use _Markdown syntax_ within a blockquote.
|
||||
|
||||
### Blockquote with attribution
|
||||
|
||||
#### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
> Don't communicate by sharing memory, share memory by communicating.<br>
|
||||
> — <cite>Rob Pike[^1]</cite>
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
#### Output
|
||||
|
||||
> Don't communicate by sharing memory, share memory by communicating.<br>
|
||||
> — <cite>Rob Pike[^1]</cite>
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: The above quote is excerpted from Rob Pike's [talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAAkCSZUG1c) during Gopherfest, November 18, 2015.
|
||||
|
||||
## Tables
|
||||
|
||||
### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
| Italics | Bold | Code |
|
||||
| --------- | -------- | ------ |
|
||||
| _italics_ | **bold** | `code` |
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
### Output
|
||||
|
||||
| Italics | Bold | Code |
|
||||
| --------- | -------- | ------ |
|
||||
| _italics_ | **bold** | `code` |
|
||||
|
||||
## Code Blocks
|
||||
|
||||
### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
we can use 3 backticks ``` in new line and write snippet and close with 3 backticks on new line and to highlight language specific syntax, write one word of language name after first 3 backticks, for eg. html, javascript, css, markdown, typescript, txt, bash
|
||||
|
||||
````markdown
|
||||
```html
|
||||
<!doctype html>
|
||||
<html lang="en">
|
||||
<head>
|
||||
<meta charset="utf-8" />
|
||||
<title>Example HTML5 Document</title>
|
||||
</head>
|
||||
<body>
|
||||
<p>Test</p>
|
||||
</body>
|
||||
</html>
|
||||
```
|
||||
````
|
||||
|
||||
### Output
|
||||
|
||||
```html
|
||||
<!doctype html>
|
||||
<html lang="en">
|
||||
<head>
|
||||
<meta charset="utf-8" />
|
||||
<title>Example HTML5 Document</title>
|
||||
</head>
|
||||
<body>
|
||||
<p>Test</p>
|
||||
</body>
|
||||
</html>
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
## List Types
|
||||
|
||||
### Ordered List
|
||||
|
||||
#### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
1. First item
|
||||
2. Second item
|
||||
3. Third item
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
#### Output
|
||||
|
||||
1. First item
|
||||
2. Second item
|
||||
3. Third item
|
||||
|
||||
### Unordered List
|
||||
|
||||
#### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
- List item
|
||||
- Another item
|
||||
- And another item
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
#### Output
|
||||
|
||||
- List item
|
||||
- Another item
|
||||
- And another item
|
||||
|
||||
### Nested list
|
||||
|
||||
#### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
- Fruit
|
||||
- Apple
|
||||
- Orange
|
||||
- Banana
|
||||
- Dairy
|
||||
- Milk
|
||||
- Cheese
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
#### Output
|
||||
|
||||
- Fruit
|
||||
- Apple
|
||||
- Orange
|
||||
- Banana
|
||||
- Dairy
|
||||
- Milk
|
||||
- Cheese
|
||||
|
||||
## Other Elements — abbr, sub, sup, kbd, mark
|
||||
|
||||
### Syntax
|
||||
|
||||
```markdown
|
||||
<abbr title="Graphics Interchange Format">GIF</abbr> is a bitmap image format.
|
||||
|
||||
H<sub>2</sub>O
|
||||
|
||||
X<sup>n</sup> + Y<sup>n</sup> = Z<sup>n</sup>
|
||||
|
||||
Press <kbd>CTRL</kbd> + <kbd>ALT</kbd> + <kbd>Delete</kbd> to end the session.
|
||||
|
||||
Most <mark>salamanders</mark> are nocturnal, and hunt for insects, worms, and other small creatures.
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
### Output
|
||||
|
||||
<abbr title="Graphics Interchange Format">GIF</abbr> is a bitmap image format.
|
||||
|
||||
H<sub>2</sub>O
|
||||
|
||||
X<sup>n</sup> + Y<sup>n</sup> = Z<sup>n</sup>
|
||||
|
||||
Press <kbd>CTRL</kbd> + <kbd>ALT</kbd> + <kbd>Delete</kbd> to end the session.
|
||||
|
||||
Most <mark>salamanders</mark> are nocturnal, and hunt for insects, worms, and other small creatures.
|
||||
35
src/content/blog/my-nam.mdx
Normal file
35
src/content/blog/my-nam.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: My 'Nam'
|
||||
description: There's trauma in these skreets.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
excerpt: There's trauma in these skreets.
|
||||
date: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Banging on the walls, screaming, yelling, and crying around where I live is my Vietnam.
|
||||
|
||||
It's happening right now and it's a thing where you gotta take out an airpod and listen, and if you're not allowed to be strapped, you put whatever you can right by your hand so if the shit pops off you can at least get a slice or two if they enter.
|
||||
|
||||
At that place I lived out by Pittsburgh, shit popped off _every fucking day_. Fights at 1 AM against my door, yelling outside of the slum. My young neighbor telling my friend the next time he rang her doorbell because mine is broken she was going to blow his fucking brains out, keep playing, she told him. He wasn't scared; this n*gga was on the street, addict, in jail, he is not scared of*anything\*. Mans got stabbed in the chest, lung punctured, and chased the guy down who stabbed him and beat his head against the curb. Lucky for them both he was running out of air.
|
||||
|
||||
He legit saw someone's brains get splattered on the sidewalk. He _is not scared of you, sis._ Keep moving.
|
||||
|
||||
When I moved there, I was coming from a small inner city. I knew crime I lived down the streets from the projects. But Pittsburgh is 3x as large and the boroughs and townships along the Monongahela River where there are empty mill towns and crime all up and down the shore lines have hardened me.
|
||||
|
||||
I'd never been in the midst of so much violence.
|
||||
|
||||
When I was in the food line there was a library behind us. I said, does anyone use that library? The older ladies told me, "This is [insert town] we don't read here in [town]".
|
||||
|
||||
Food line would span out around the school block.
|
||||
|
||||
It wasn't necessarily a mistake to move there. I learned to code and went to meetups out there. I would not have had that opportunity here. Those opportunities gave me a launching pad to actually being a functioning member of society with a good income at one job and an phenomenal one at my last. I was able to buy things I never could have before. I could save money, improve my credit, treat my friends to dinner and gifts, and actually buy my mom expensive Christmas presents.
|
||||
|
||||
But there was a cost to all of it. I sold my soul for money and things and ended up losing everything.
|
||||
|
||||
So I am in another predicament where there are unsavory people all around me. I have some pretty big and sharp knives by my desk and my bed. Those are my only defense besides my fists. I'm older now so not sure how effective my punches would be[^1] but I still have very large hands that make very large fists.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway the brouhaha has subsided for a minute.
|
||||
|
||||
Someone told a guy to "keep [runnin that train](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/run_a_train) boy!" the other day and when he said that I knew that this was, indeed, a motel and I should treat living here like it.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: 18-23 year old me was concussing people with a single punch. I was an angry lass and a large one too, mom said I was strong as an ox. Now? Who's to say. But don't test it, though.
|
||||
8
src/content/blog/new-digs-new-year.mdx
Normal file
8
src/content/blog/new-digs-new-year.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: New Digs
|
||||
description: From a shoebox to just right
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-12-25"
|
||||
date: "2024-12-26"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
42
src/content/blog/no-one-is-paying-for-search.mdx
Normal file
42
src/content/blog/no-one-is-paying-for-search.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: No One is Paying for Search
|
||||
description: There's a new search engine in town that requires you to pay for it.
|
||||
publishDate: "2023-05-23"
|
||||
date: "2023-05-23"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import kagi from '../../assets/kagi.png'
|
||||
|
||||
From kagi.com:
|
||||
|
||||
> Kagi has no ads and is fully supported only by its users. We worked very hard to provide high quality, fast and tracking-free results at a minimum cost to ensure sustainability of our operation.
|
||||
|
||||
> By choosing a paid Kagi plan you are helping accelerate our mission of humanizing the web. Kagi also pledges 5% of its profits to supporting non-profit organizations for a more humane internet.
|
||||
|
||||
## Ok but how much??
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={kagi} alt="screenshot of kagi pricing"/>
|
||||
|
||||
*Madness*.
|
||||
|
||||
## UPDATE:
|
||||
|
||||
From the Kagi blog:
|
||||
|
||||
> Kagi takes pride in offering an array of beneficial AI tools, including “Quick Answers,” “Summarize Page,” and “Ask Questions about Document,” not to mention our highly regarded Universal Summarizer.
|
||||
|
||||
[...]
|
||||
|
||||
> In response to your feedback and as part of our commitment to enhancing your experience, we’re excited to announce the removal of these restrictions for all our paid plans. In addition, we’ve increased the limits on our Trial plan. These changes provide you with unimpeded access to these valuable tools to improve your productivity and the quality of your work.
|
||||
|
||||
Look I love when companies come out of the box swinging, but no one outside people who have the disposable income to pay for this will pay.
|
||||
|
||||
> While mainstream search engines generate approximately 5-10 cents per search through advertising revenue, Kagi offers an ad-free alternative that prioritizes users' best interests. By charging a nominal fee for searches, Kagi ensures that its search results are faster, more accurate, and completely respectful of your privacy.
|
||||
|
||||
[...]
|
||||
|
||||
> By aligning our incentives with those of our users, Kagi is committed to building a better, more ethical future for ourselves and our children on the web.
|
||||
|
||||
Their mission is noble, but you can't say you want a better web for children on the web when you put a gate around how these children will be able to access this information and participate in a *better, more ethical future* for themselves.
|
||||
42
src/content/blog/nuff-said.mdx
Normal file
42
src/content/blog/nuff-said.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "'Nuff Said"
|
||||
description: Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-05-18"
|
||||
date: "2024-05-18"
|
||||
youtube: true
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/mzKU1)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/dhaW0)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/1tfVM)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/Ztqcj)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/R5sbG)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/9lI2o)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/vtbfh)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/hRRS3)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[Mother fucker!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QiFl9Dc7D0)
|
||||
47
src/content/blog/on-social-media.mdx
Normal file
47
src/content/blog/on-social-media.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: The Ruthless Psychology of Social Media Apps
|
||||
description: We're addicted and it isn't our fault.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
date: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
We're addicted and it isn't our fault.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
# On Social Media
|
||||
|
||||
[Gabz writes](https://gabz.blog/post/on-social-media-wirl_wna):
|
||||
|
||||
> As I was in my 5:00 am meeting today I was, well, multitasking, as you do, and somewhat browsing around and stumble upon this article by Mister Davis Sparks, [THE GROWING TIDE AGAINST SOCIAL MEDIA](https://www.macsparky.com/blog/2024/01/the-growing-tide-against-social-media/)
|
||||
> As I was reading, there was a lot of noting and "yepping". And there was one piece of it that kind of stuck out and had me thinking for a bit.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
I read that article, too. And I couldn't agree with it more.
|
||||
|
||||
He continues:
|
||||
|
||||
> The second thing is the TikTok addiction. I am proud to say that I have **never** downloaded this app and I plan to, for as long as I can manage, never download it. As I have might said somewhere one time, I do not need another _let's-get-high-on-dopamine_ kind of app.
|
||||
|
||||
This is the crux of it; the deliberate use of flaws in human psychology to keep us hooked on an app in order to serve us more ads, so they can create more growth, for shareholders who are already bursting at the seams with wealth, for a stock market that is really just craps for the wealthy, is so despicable I can't think about it without feeling rage.
|
||||
|
||||
Not only did I buy into the farce that I would need to use it in 2009 to further a career in writing I didn't even know if I wanted (it's career *suicide*!) I opened myself up to every platform under the sun to try to grind my way to literary relevance: a wide open Facebook profile where I accumulated 5,000 "friends", who, by the way, were *writers* and not my intended audience. A Twitter account in 2009 that started off really fun but ended up being a vessel for shilling an artists wares. It got better when I switched to tech, which is what I wanted to do forever and then 2016 happened.
|
||||
|
||||
## Social anxiety is a social media app's best friend
|
||||
|
||||
I suffer from crippling social anxiety. It's not just introversion; it is full on I don't function well around people and refuse to go anywhere where there will be more than a handful and if there are more, the throng should be moving around and not just standing there or my heart palpitates and I will find a way out of the building.
|
||||
|
||||
It has a lot to do with trauma, and I think most people with social anxiety have some form of trauma. Facebook, in particular, ran an experiement right before the 2016 election to guage how a user responds to posts using the new *reaction* buttons. If you reacted angry, hell yeah, let's give you more shit that will make you even MORE angry, this way you will continue to engage in our cesspool of targeted ads and clickbait. It was documented in the tech press and Facebook discontinued the A/B test of that feature. The damage was done.
|
||||
|
||||
I was addicted. Heavily. My friends and my ex would say that I was addicted and I refused to believe it.
|
||||
|
||||
But I started to realize that my anxiety and general unhappiness coincided with a medicine change and my continued abuse of social media.
|
||||
|
||||
## I thought I couldn't quit you
|
||||
|
||||
Oh but I did. The belief you have friends on Facebook because they interact with your posts, whether you feel happy, sad, express trauma, or announce a good or bad thing, is what caught me. Instead of hanging out with my in real life friends, I depended on a few "friends" I made on Facebook who, since I deleted it, have not made any real effort to reach out to me, and I don't expect it. I think it bothers me a bit because of how sincere they seemed. And maybe they truly want the best for me, as I them. But I had to be real with myself, I don't really know those people, and they don't really know me, even though that profile was like my group therapy once I locked it down.
|
||||
|
||||
I've deleted Twitter. I have one account there for sports and I regret looking at it every time I open it. I'll probably be deleting that account as well.
|
||||
|
||||
I don't use Threads or Instagram. YouTube is a rabbit hole I am trying to hack my way out of wasting so much time watching bullshit there. I had to delete hundreds of subscriptions and force myself to not subscribe to any more channels. I find there's nothing really to watch as the channels I decided to keep around don't post much. When that happens, I do something else, like read, which is the way I've always liked it.
|
||||
|
||||
There's a reckoning coming but for whom and for how long??
|
||||
14
src/content/blog/palestine-rally-channel-5-news.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/blog/palestine-rally-channel-5-news.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Palestine Rally Channel 5 News
|
||||
description: The Holy War rages on.
|
||||
publishDate: "2023-10-17"
|
||||
date: "2023-10-17"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Andrew Callaghan at Channel 5 News is many things[^1] but he's *still* one of the best journalists, anywhere.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: The allegations of sexual misconduct are unforgivable and he has addressed this with honesty. It does not excuse the behavior, nor does his journalism, but I think his channel is important and ignoring it altogether does a disservice to nuanced discourse.
|
||||
145
src/content/blog/ptsd-and-me.mdx
Normal file
145
src/content/blog/ptsd-and-me.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,145 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: PTSD and Me
|
||||
description: I made my peace can I go home?
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-06"
|
||||
excerpt: I made my peace can I go home?
|
||||
date: "2025-03-06"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
I have suffered from cPTSD for most of my teenage and adult life.
|
||||
|
||||
But from 2021-2025, and more so concentrated to the past two years, the experiences I've had have given me a more acute form of PTSD that I've never experienced before.
|
||||
|
||||
The day I was in that filthy room, that filthy small shoebox and my cat was on my bed, looking super scared... I was going to be going inpatient, to a psych hospital compound about 45 minutes from me. I am standing there, I can barely stand, I am filthy, and I am unable to stop crying. My arms are flailing...
|
||||
|
||||
I was in my friend's car losing my mind. I wanted to hit things, I wanted to break the car window with my skull. I am screaming, out loud, and grunting from the anger and despair I was feeling.
|
||||
|
||||
## And
|
||||
|
||||
My friend walks me into the ER, and they call me to the window to get my information and I cannot stop crying. I have never experienced a time in my life where I couldn't stop crying. Ever.
|
||||
|
||||
I cry in the room with just a mattress and a sheet.
|
||||
|
||||
I cry at the hospital. I have PTSD and the notes on my condition from the nurses say I have a blunt affect, I show no emotion, and do not interact with the other patients.
|
||||
|
||||
## Before
|
||||
|
||||
I had agoraphobia. And it was extremely bad. I still suffer from it but it is not nearly as bad as it was just five months ago.
|
||||
|
||||
My uncle took me to get my photo ID renewed some time in October. I had put it off for years but I needed it to actually live my life. So we went.
|
||||
|
||||
I walked into the DMV and I shook. I was shaking so goddamn bad, in public. It was something I do not do, did not do, in my entire godforsaken life and here I am shaking like a leaf and trying not to have a breakdown.
|
||||
|
||||
I had the woman my money while my hand shakes and I am fighting back tears.
|
||||
|
||||
I wanted nothing more than to die.
|
||||
|
||||
I got back in my uncle's truck and I have a breakdown; I could not stop crying. He asked me what was wrong and I didn't have the heart to tell him and even if I did I don't think I understood it much myself.
|
||||
|
||||
## The Room
|
||||
|
||||
There's much to talk about about where me and Catte were living. It was small. I was agoraphobic. The house at the time was a hoarding situation. I barely ate after a while. Cooking in that kitchen was something I wasn't going to do as the kitchen was gross. Sometimes when my roommate would cook it was spoiled. So I ended up buying microwave meals.
|
||||
|
||||
There was a ton of centipedes and moths. And I kept bringing stuff in, creature comforts that I didn't have room for. I tried to bring in things to organize things but it never worked. I had no door on my bedroom and that bedroom is where I stayed, pretty much all the time. After a while I stopped taking care of myself completely; I didn't shower, my bladder stopped working. I had no clean clothes because doing all that laundry at the laundry mat is expensive and her washer and dryer didn't work.
|
||||
|
||||
Catte stopped playing and running around. She started to have problems with her skin.
|
||||
|
||||
I would lay in bed, a filthy fucking bed and bang my head against the wall, literally. I'd grab my skin and just like take my fingernails to my skin. I was so angry. I wanted to break everything, everything I owned I wanted to break it.
|
||||
|
||||
Every night I was fighting my surrounding filth, my own filth, my cat not knowing what to do but loving me anyway.
|
||||
|
||||
Without my bedroom door, I heard Fox News 24/7 which. I mean it's Fox okay.
|
||||
|
||||
My roommate rescued me from certain homelessness, but by the end, I didn't pay enough and her son came back home. He cleaned the entire house and I was still a filthy, delusional, psychotic fucking mess of a human being and I needed to leave. They were going to call the sheriff on me and I committed no crime.
|
||||
|
||||
The day I watched Catte crawl to the corner of the bed with her big eyes looking to me for comfort still haunts me. I miss that cat so I will stop writing about her now. She is still at the house, last time I checked. They are taking her to the vet, she is having her run of the house and it hurts me to no end that I could not provide that for her like I used to. Anyway...
|
||||
|
||||
## After the ward
|
||||
|
||||
I was able to move to where I am now, an extended stay motel. It's the cheapest nice place you can get in this area when you have no available credit, as all my cards are maxed out after losing my job in '22 and trying to stay in that beautiful townhouse I lived in.
|
||||
|
||||
I moved here and I remember going to bed and waking up in the middle of the night not knowing where I was. I was still at my roommate's house; I'd wake up and think I was still living there. I was disoriented and couldn't stay asleep, _at all_.
|
||||
|
||||
I was going to group therapy and it wasn't until the one group where I started talking about the experiences of the last four or so years that I began to disassociate and realize just how fucked up the past two years have made me. I cried in that group, or, I tried to _not_ cry but the tears kept falling without me making a sound.
|
||||
|
||||
## American
|
||||
|
||||
I tried to not rely on subsidies and handouts. I fought like hell to be a taxpaying American so that I didn't have to palm my EBT card when I went to the grocery store and lost everything along the way.
|
||||
|
||||
I lost my home, I lost my jobs, I lost my mother, I lost my therapist, I lost my mobility, I lost my sanity, I lost my cat, and I lost myself, and that's the one thing I will never get back.
|
||||
|
||||
I used to have phobias. I do not have them anymore. Things that I used to fear I no longer do. I fear almost nothing at all. I suppose that's a perk of acute PTSD.
|
||||
|
||||
However I am super hypervigilant, I have a collection of knives and sometimes the pain is so overwhelming I try to find a place that will allow me to buy a way to suck on a 🔫.
|
||||
|
||||
It's the thing where I can't promise any of my friends and loved ones that I won't end my life, but as I said at my time at the ward and in group therapy I don't have anything to live for and I have zero hope for anything to ever bring me joy again.
|
||||
|
||||
## Soundtrack to the end of last year
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
**Lyrics**
|
||||
|
||||
> When will we die? This life isn't fair
|
||||
> I miss the high, I live a lie
|
||||
> And one day we'll die, no one will care
|
||||
> Take me inside, I'll meet you there
|
||||
|
||||
> Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Who do you think you are?
|
||||
> Young man? Young man?
|
||||
> Yeah
|
||||
|
||||
> Man, I think you went too far
|
||||
> You can't stop the dance
|
||||
> Don't ever let 'em stop the dance, yeah
|
||||
> Are we all numb? Where are we goin'?
|
||||
> What have we become? It all keeps on rollin'
|
||||
> A little bit of light lets the hope grow
|
||||
> A lot goes on that they don't know
|
||||
> Just give me a sign, to show me somethin'
|
||||
> Is it my time? Can I stop runnin'?
|
||||
> Lost in the night and it's so cold
|
||||
> Forget the things that we don't know
|
||||
> I made my peace, can I go home?
|
||||
|
||||
> Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
|
||||
> To the girl named danger, so good to see you
|
||||
> Don't be a stranger, it's clear I need you
|
||||
> The angels will fall, not a saint after all
|
||||
> Back to the wall, let me free you
|
||||
> Protect me from evil, give me a reason
|
||||
> Where are the good people? Give us our freedom
|
||||
> Where are the dreamers?
|
||||
> Can you show me the dreamers?
|
||||
> And we are the creatures, prophets and teachers
|
||||
> We are believers, lost in amnesia
|
||||
> Will you let me fade away? I wanna fade away
|
||||
|
||||
> Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
|
||||
> Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
|
||||
> Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
|
||||
> Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
|
||||
> Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
|
||||
|
|
@ -1,16 +0,0 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: 'Second post'
|
||||
description: 'Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet'
|
||||
pubDate: 'Jul 15 2022'
|
||||
heroImage: '/blog-placeholder-4.jpg'
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Vitae ultricies leo integer malesuada nunc vel risus commodo viverra. Adipiscing enim eu turpis egestas pretium. Euismod elementum nisi quis eleifend quam adipiscing. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum. Sagittis purus sit amet volutpat. Netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Eget magna fermentum iaculis eu non diam phasellus vestibulum lorem. Varius sit amet mattis vulputate enim. Habitasse platea dictumst quisque sagittis. Integer quis auctor elit sed vulputate mi. Dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet.
|
||||
|
||||
Morbi tristique senectus et netus. Id semper risus in hendrerit gravida rutrum quisque non tellus. Habitasse platea dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet. Tellus molestie nunc non blandit massa. Cursus vitae congue mauris rhoncus. Accumsan tortor posuere ac ut. Fringilla urna porttitor rhoncus dolor. Elit ullamcorper dignissim cras tincidunt lobortis. In cursus turpis massa tincidunt dui ut ornare lectus. Integer feugiat scelerisque varius morbi enim nunc. Bibendum neque egestas congue quisque egestas diam. Cras ornare arcu dui vivamus arcu felis bibendum. Dignissim suspendisse in est ante in nibh mauris. Sed tempus urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi.
|
||||
|
||||
Mollis nunc sed id semper risus in. Convallis a cras semper auctor neque. Diam sit amet nisl suscipit. Lacus viverra vitae congue eu consequat ac felis donec. Egestas integer eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet. Eget magna fermentum iaculis eu non diam. In vitae turpis massa sed elementum. Tristique et egestas quis ipsum suspendisse ultrices. Eget lorem dolor sed viverra ipsum. Vel turpis nunc eget lorem dolor sed viverra. Posuere ac ut consequat semper viverra nam. Laoreet suspendisse interdum consectetur libero id faucibus. Diam phasellus vestibulum lorem sed risus ultricies tristique. Rhoncus dolor purus non enim praesent elementum facilisis. Ultrices tincidunt arcu non sodales neque. Tempus egestas sed sed risus pretium quam vulputate. Viverra suspendisse potenti nullam ac tortor vitae purus faucibus ornare. Fringilla urna porttitor rhoncus dolor purus non. Amet dictum sit amet justo donec enim.
|
||||
|
||||
Mattis ullamcorper velit sed ullamcorper morbi tincidunt. Tortor posuere ac ut consequat semper viverra. Tellus mauris a diam maecenas sed enim ut sem viverra. Venenatis urna cursus eget nunc scelerisque viverra mauris in. Arcu ac tortor dignissim convallis aenean et tortor at. Curabitur gravida arcu ac tortor dignissim convallis aenean et tortor. Egestas tellus rutrum tellus pellentesque eu. Fusce ut placerat orci nulla pellentesque dignissim enim sit amet. Ut enim blandit volutpat maecenas volutpat blandit aliquam etiam. Id donec ultrices tincidunt arcu. Id cursus metus aliquam eleifend mi.
|
||||
|
||||
Tempus quam pellentesque nec nam aliquam sem. Risus at ultrices mi tempus imperdiet. Id porta nibh venenatis cras sed felis eget velit. Ipsum a arcu cursus vitae. Facilisis magna etiam tempor orci eu lobortis elementum. Tincidunt dui ut ornare lectus sit. Quisque non tellus orci ac. Blandit libero volutpat sed cras. Nec tincidunt praesent semper feugiat nibh sed pulvinar proin gravida. Egestas integer eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna.
|
||||
18
src/content/blog/sir-jony-ive-on-designing.mdx
Normal file
18
src/content/blog/sir-jony-ive-on-designing.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: HRH Prince Charles and Sir Jony Ive on better design
|
||||
description: Sir Jony sure has opinions.
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-07-19"
|
||||
date: "2022-07-19"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
# HRH Prince Charles and Sir Jony Ive on designing for a better world
|
||||
|
||||
From *DEYAN SUDJIC* at Wallpaper.com -
|
||||
|
||||
> When Ive talks about design, his language is fiercely moralistic. ‘I am angry that most of what is made seems so thoughtless. So many products do not deserve to exist. The minimum that they should do to justify themselves and consume all that material is that their designers should care about them.
|
||||
|
||||
Who gets to say what kind of designs should and shouldn't exist? These are *products* not *spiritual* things.
|
||||
|
||||
Jony is a generational design talent but sometimes it's hard to get past a guy sniffing his own farts.
|
||||
|
||||
https://www.wallpaper.com/design/prince-charles-jony-ive-terra-carta-design-lab-august-issue
|
||||
25
src/content/blog/social-image.mdx
Normal file
25
src/content/blog/social-image.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Example OG Social Image
|
||||
description: An example post for Astro Cactus, detailing how to add a custom social image card in the frontmatter
|
||||
publishDate: 27 January 2023
|
||||
tags:
|
||||
- example
|
||||
- blog
|
||||
- image
|
||||
ogImage: /social-card.png
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## Adding your own social image to a post
|
||||
|
||||
This post is an example of how to add a custom [open graph](https://ogp.me/) social image, also known as an OG image, to a blog post.
|
||||
By adding the optional ogImage property to the frontmatter of a post, you opt out of [satori](https://github.com/vercel/satori) automatically generating an image for this page.
|
||||
|
||||
If you open this markdown file `src/content/post/social-image.md` you'll see the ogImage property set to an image which lives in the public folder[^1].
|
||||
|
||||
```yaml
|
||||
ogImage: "/social-card.png"
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
You can view the one set for this template page [here](https://astro-cactus.chriswilliams.dev/social-card.png).
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: The image itself can be located anywhere you like.
|
||||
30
src/content/blog/something-bittersweet.mdx
Normal file
30
src/content/blog/something-bittersweet.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Something Bittersweet
|
||||
description: We didn't ask for the cards we were dealt and sometimes that's the part that gets you.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
date: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
In 2014 I decided to switch careers as a person who was below the poverty line and in their mid 30s. I met some incredible people, most of whom have gone on to have great careers; lots are senior software engineers, some have had success in multiple software roles. Some even got to party with top engineers from Netflix in San Francisco on a rooftop and get keynote speaker slots at well known conferences. Others have worked at Big Tech and have made a difference while doing so.
|
||||
|
||||
All of the engineers I speak of are Black in Tech and I love it. I am, too. But as I watch my friends go on about their business, I celebrate with sincerity; I could not be happier or prouder of the folks I made this journey with, I am also cognizant of my eternal struggle of just living daily while actually wanting to be on this earth willingly.
|
||||
|
||||
## The hands we're dealt
|
||||
|
||||
No one asks to be born. We just were. And no child asks to be born in the circumstances I found myself to be born in.
|
||||
|
||||
To be in those circumstances and to even be alive at the age I am is almost unheard of. For me to not be in jail or dead is to be celebrated. For me to have rented my own home while making 6 figures, even though it was only for a year, is to be lauded and given as a testament to human resilience. At the same time, I watch my friends soar and I realize that, as much as I have fought my entire life against the thought that some of the barriers I have had to overcome are not ones they have had to overcome. We all have our shit, all of us. We overcome that shit the best way we can. But for some of us, our brains just don't give a fuck and will try to end us from the moment we take our first breath until the moment we breathe our last. And it isn't anyone's fault. There isn't anyone to blame.
|
||||
|
||||
## Vague I know
|
||||
|
||||
My friend who also suffers from similar things and I were at a restaurant a couple years ago. He had his arms crossed, staring out the window.
|
||||
|
||||
I am sipping on my coke when he blurts out: *it's not fair. This just isn't fair. You know?*
|
||||
|
||||
Yes. I do.
|
||||
|
||||
And the callousness of saying to someone who's brain chemistry makes it hard for them to not want to suck on a pistol regularly that *life is unfair*, while true, isn't helpful. Shit, we know this. It doesn't make this shit hurt *less*.
|
||||
|
||||
You want to live like a productive member of society. Despite popular right wing rhetoric, no one wants to be given a handout, a handout that keeps you buried below the poverty line, lining up at food pantries, and hopping from project to project. No one wants that. If folks like me who don't have the advantages I've had in life, *in spite of* the fact my life has been like an episode of 48 Hours and Dateline, would be given the choice of working and being able to actually live a decent life and not working and lining up at the food bank, I assure you that 95% of those folks would pick working every fucking time, no matter the bullshit Fox News keeps telling your parents and grandparents.
|
||||
|
||||
I guess what I am saying is it hurts to see people thrive, knowing that if you had a better, no, *healthier* fucking brain you could thrive in the same way and you just can't, through no fault of your own. It feels like you're dying on Groundhog's Day and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it...
|
||||
11
src/content/blog/spiraling-super-mario.mdx
Normal file
11
src/content/blog/spiraling-super-mario.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Spiraling, a soundtrack
|
||||
description: Super Mario Bros 3, a classic
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-21"
|
||||
excerpt: Super Mario Bros 3, a classic
|
||||
date: "2025-03-21"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
If you want to know what it sounds like in the head of someone spiraling into depression, look no further than this:
|
||||
|
||||
<iframe width="100%" height="560" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/dqN0iyQypjM?si=M4_2w6-jcjzq6LDE&start=1311" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
|
||||
8
src/content/blog/tech-bro-caveats.mdx
Normal file
8
src/content/blog/tech-bro-caveats.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Please Don't Hear What I'm Not Saying
|
||||
description: Tech Bro Caveats
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-05-22"
|
||||
date: "2024-05-22"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Well maybe don't make what you're *not* saying so loud to those who don't share your experience.
|
||||
14
src/content/blog/thank-you-oss.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/blog/thank-you-oss.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Thank u, OSS
|
||||
description: Keeping the poors entertained since 1999.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-02-07"
|
||||
date: "2024-02-07"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
I am still out of work and times are a bit rough.
|
||||
|
||||
But with a few open source tools, a little *command line fu*, I have all of the music and movies I could possibly want.
|
||||
|
||||
Thank u, OSS.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -1,16 +0,0 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: 'Third post'
|
||||
description: 'Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet'
|
||||
pubDate: 'Jul 22 2022'
|
||||
heroImage: '/blog-placeholder-2.jpg'
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Vitae ultricies leo integer malesuada nunc vel risus commodo viverra. Adipiscing enim eu turpis egestas pretium. Euismod elementum nisi quis eleifend quam adipiscing. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum. Sagittis purus sit amet volutpat. Netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Eget magna fermentum iaculis eu non diam phasellus vestibulum lorem. Varius sit amet mattis vulputate enim. Habitasse platea dictumst quisque sagittis. Integer quis auctor elit sed vulputate mi. Dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet.
|
||||
|
||||
Morbi tristique senectus et netus. Id semper risus in hendrerit gravida rutrum quisque non tellus. Habitasse platea dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet. Tellus molestie nunc non blandit massa. Cursus vitae congue mauris rhoncus. Accumsan tortor posuere ac ut. Fringilla urna porttitor rhoncus dolor. Elit ullamcorper dignissim cras tincidunt lobortis. In cursus turpis massa tincidunt dui ut ornare lectus. Integer feugiat scelerisque varius morbi enim nunc. Bibendum neque egestas congue quisque egestas diam. Cras ornare arcu dui vivamus arcu felis bibendum. Dignissim suspendisse in est ante in nibh mauris. Sed tempus urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi.
|
||||
|
||||
Mollis nunc sed id semper risus in. Convallis a cras semper auctor neque. Diam sit amet nisl suscipit. Lacus viverra vitae congue eu consequat ac felis donec. Egestas integer eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet. Eget magna fermentum iaculis eu non diam. In vitae turpis massa sed elementum. Tristique et egestas quis ipsum suspendisse ultrices. Eget lorem dolor sed viverra ipsum. Vel turpis nunc eget lorem dolor sed viverra. Posuere ac ut consequat semper viverra nam. Laoreet suspendisse interdum consectetur libero id faucibus. Diam phasellus vestibulum lorem sed risus ultricies tristique. Rhoncus dolor purus non enim praesent elementum facilisis. Ultrices tincidunt arcu non sodales neque. Tempus egestas sed sed risus pretium quam vulputate. Viverra suspendisse potenti nullam ac tortor vitae purus faucibus ornare. Fringilla urna porttitor rhoncus dolor purus non. Amet dictum sit amet justo donec enim.
|
||||
|
||||
Mattis ullamcorper velit sed ullamcorper morbi tincidunt. Tortor posuere ac ut consequat semper viverra. Tellus mauris a diam maecenas sed enim ut sem viverra. Venenatis urna cursus eget nunc scelerisque viverra mauris in. Arcu ac tortor dignissim convallis aenean et tortor at. Curabitur gravida arcu ac tortor dignissim convallis aenean et tortor. Egestas tellus rutrum tellus pellentesque eu. Fusce ut placerat orci nulla pellentesque dignissim enim sit amet. Ut enim blandit volutpat maecenas volutpat blandit aliquam etiam. Id donec ultrices tincidunt arcu. Id cursus metus aliquam eleifend mi.
|
||||
|
||||
Tempus quam pellentesque nec nam aliquam sem. Risus at ultrices mi tempus imperdiet. Id porta nibh venenatis cras sed felis eget velit. Ipsum a arcu cursus vitae. Facilisis magna etiam tempor orci eu lobortis elementum. Tincidunt dui ut ornare lectus sit. Quisque non tellus orci ac. Blandit libero volutpat sed cras. Nec tincidunt praesent semper feugiat nibh sed pulvinar proin gravida. Egestas integer eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna.
|
||||
12
src/content/blog/tough-times-require-awesome-music.mdx
Normal file
12
src/content/blog/tough-times-require-awesome-music.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Tough Times Require Awesome Music
|
||||
description: Hurts so bad it's... actually terrible
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-09-12"
|
||||
date: "2022-09-12"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
So it's a Foo Fighters type of night.
|
||||
|
||||
♥️ Dave Grohl.
|
||||
|
||||
<iframe style="border-radius:12px" src="https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/4EnNuo8fG7dMoxMefbApRY?utm_source=generator" width="100%" height="600" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen="" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" loading="lazy"></iframe>
|
||||
|
|
@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ When you open this page in the browser, you should see the clickable button belo
|
|||
import HeaderLink from '../../components/HeaderLink.astro';
|
||||
|
||||
<HeaderLink href="#" onclick="alert('clicked!')">
|
||||
Embedded component in MDX
|
||||
Embedded component in MDX
|
||||
</HeaderLink>
|
||||
|
||||
## More Links
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
27
src/content/blog/working-in-tech-made-me-a-socialist.mdx
Normal file
27
src/content/blog/working-in-tech-made-me-a-socialist.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Working in Tech Made Me a Socialist
|
||||
description: From someone who proclaimed themselves to be a staunch capitalist.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-01-03"
|
||||
date: "2024-01-03"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
If working in corporate in an industry with money flowing out of every orifice with dudes who honestly believe a website that allows you to just say 'yo' to someone is worth billions of dolllars with billions of personal wealth, their companies still raking in massive revenues and profits then layoff people who are pregnant right before Christmas, is capitalism, ***fuck that noise***.
|
||||
|
||||
## Fuck you, got mine
|
||||
|
||||
These pseudo intellectually dishonest libertarian Wish brand Joe Rogan wannabes are doing the following:
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
1. Laying off people who are here on H1B Visas
|
||||
2. Rescinding offers to immigrants who moved here to work at like Google or Amazon and now have no funds or ability to work here in the states. They give up every fucking thing to come here for billionaires to fuck them in the ass at every turn.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
I am on LinkedIn, I see this shit happen every fucking day.
|
||||
|
||||
There's one woman begging for work, anything at all. She's put in 1000 applications, had several interviews, and has been ghosted multiple times. She's facing homelessness and has a daughter and said she has had some dark thoughts lately but she's willing to take anything at all. You know what's happened since?
|
||||
|
||||
👻👻👻
|
||||
|
||||
Like I applied to a customer call center job for PNC and they didn't get back to me for months and then rejected my application. I am completely capable of doing the job, I am criminally over-qualified for it, and yet.
|
||||
|
||||
Well, comrades. Watching the world burn and consuming LeftTube has given me a chance to pick up my sickle and head for the resistance, whatever that looks like.
|
||||
4
src/content/books/books.md
Normal file
4
src/content/books/books.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Book Reviews
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
5
src/content/knives/hello-there.md
Normal file
5
src/content/knives/hello-there.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: You like knives?
|
||||
description: Then welcome home.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-29T11:23:00Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
4
src/content/knives/knives.md
Normal file
4
src/content/knives/knives.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Knives
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
4
src/content/linux/linux.md
Normal file
4
src/content/linux/linux.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Moving to Linux Series
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
4
src/content/movies/movies.md
Normal file
4
src/content/movies/movies.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Movie Reviews
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
4
src/content/music/music.md
Normal file
4
src/content/music/music.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Music Reviews
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
22
src/content/post/back-for-better-worse.mdx
Normal file
22
src/content/post/back-for-better-worse.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Wow, Been a While, Huh?
|
||||
description: "Trigger Warning: all the trauma"
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-12-16"
|
||||
date: "2024-12-16"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Used Neovim to write this post and accidentally closed the pane in Zellij which means I lost the whole fucking document.
|
||||
|
||||
So, long story short:
|
||||
|
||||
- I lived in a shoebox, a filthy, stinky, smoky shoebox
|
||||
- I was spiraling mentally which meant I did not take care of myself, constantly spiraling between wanting to suck on a pistol, and literally banging my head against the wall. That is not hyperbole; I'd bang my head against the wall, or ball up my fists and hit myself in the cranium. I was not well.
|
||||
- The sent me to a high tech hospital to get better and to find a place to live as my roommates son came home and I had to leave and it was definitely the right move for both of us.
|
||||
- I found a company that rents to folks needing to get back on their feet. I have a pretty large judgement against me after losing my job and being without income for five months and these folks looked past all of that and let me rent this motel room outside of the city.
|
||||
|
||||
I am staying in a really quiet, clean, well-lighted place, and I am lost.
|
||||
|
||||
<video controls width="650">
|
||||
|
||||
<source src="https://res.cloudinary.com/diajberzp/video/upload/v1734411226/cwlp_2_uhdj3i.mp4" type="video/mp4" />
|
||||
</video>
|
||||
64
src/content/post/back-to-books.mdx
Normal file
64
src/content/post/back-to-books.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,64 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Back to Books
|
||||
description: Social media has broken me. It's back to books and BBForums to rescue what's left of my sanity.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
date: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import mobileread from "../../assets/mobileread.png";
|
||||
import mrprofile from "../../assets/mr-profile.png";
|
||||
import goodreads from "../../assets/goodreads.png";
|
||||
import mapleread from "../../assets/ipad-pro-2018-mapleread.jpeg";
|
||||
import calibre from "../../assets/calibre.png";
|
||||
|
||||
I have become increasing suicidal watching the world regress into global fascism with its whole chest on Mastodon, and every other social site on earth. I have deleted all my Instagram accounts except one, my Twitter accounts I never use, my Facebook account I created as a brand and never use, kept LinkedIn and Lemmy instances and I'm only logged into a few Mastodon instances. I have to use LinkedIn as I look for work and network on the site, despite me hating that kind of interaction. LinkedIn is a capitalist hellscape and I hate it.
|
||||
|
||||
## The Great Reset
|
||||
|
||||
I hate Discord. I hate Slack. I don't do well with those kinds of online social interactions. Watching YouTube garbage is rotting my brain[^1].
|
||||
|
||||
I decided that I need to go back to my roots: BBForums and _reading books_.
|
||||
|
||||
I've been reading books since I was 3 years old; my mom, though she couldn't read really at all herself, read to me every night. Children's books are easy enough, so she would read me something nightly because I enjoyed it. So one day, I remember picking up the Golden spine childrens book _The Little Red Hen_ and sounding out the words myself (I didn't know how to sound out _lettuce_ until maybe 2nd grade), and I ran downstairs and said, "mommy! mommy! Look!" and proceeded to read the book followed by multiple calls to family members to show them my parlor trick.
|
||||
|
||||
I would read voraciously from that day until around the age of 16 when the psychosis and despair were fucking with my brain real heavy. I couldn't concentrate for shit as my brain was filled with outside voices that would say shit to me on repeat.
|
||||
|
||||
I wouldn't be able to pick books back up again until much later, around the age of 27 when I got on my current meds which are starting to fail me. I picked up a Jonathan Kellerman book and off to the races I went.
|
||||
|
||||
Eventually I found the Mobileread website and forums. It was there I found the ebook management software Calibre. A friend of mine taught me how to 🏴☠️ books on Demonoid and I must have downloaded 4000 books, most of which I tossed because I am no longer interested in them. Once I was employed I bought books, lots of them and in order to actually _read_ them on _whatever I fucking want_ I used DeDRM tools in Calibre to make that happen.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={calibre} alt="screenshot of my calibre library" />
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={mobileread} alt="screenshot of Mobileread forums" />
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={mrprofile} alt="screenshot of my Mobileread profile" />
|
||||
_Going to this forum daily has finally gotten me to realize I am an old person.
|
||||
I can no longer deny or fight that fact._
|
||||
|
||||
## Goodreads
|
||||
|
||||
I used Goodreads _a lot_ around 2009-2016. I was trying to do that MFA thing before I realized I was dirt poor and that shit is for trust fund babies and even if I were to get a full ride to do it, I'd still be dirt poor. I decided to do what I've always wanted to do and work in tech. The pay was great but I actually enjoy tech. It didn't matter if it was $50-60Kor if I was making or $120K, I wanted to work in tech.
|
||||
|
||||
So I did. I started to read more non-fiction and noped out of Goodreads. It had been hard to find the time to read when I was on social media and consuming other things. I've always been a completionist for everything I read or games I play and it's taken me quite a while to realize that time is finite and I am running out of it so if I don't jive with a book or game, just put it down. So I do that now.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={goodreads} alt="screenshot of my Goodread profile" />
|
||||
|
||||
## Fiction
|
||||
|
||||
I was listening to a lot of true crime books as, funny enough, there are a couple narrators I fall asleep to and books that aren't too gory for me to sleep with while listening. However I began to notice it taking a toll on me mentally. Sometimes I'd dream about the book I was listening to while I was sleeping and I already have night terrors practically nightly for which I take medication. I began to feel darker than usual.
|
||||
|
||||
I missed actually reading things that made me feel good. I missed using my eInk ereader. And I missed _good fiction_. So I picked up a childhood favorite, _It's Like This, Cat_ a 1963 Newberry Award winner I begged my mom to get me from the Scholastic Book fair.
|
||||
|
||||
I am enjoying the hell out of that on my Kindle Paperwhite; they had it as a freebie on Amazon years ago and as someone who has always loved cats (I mean if you ain't know that by now, idk what to tell you) I decided to revist the book which is more adult than I remember it being.
|
||||
|
||||
I also reread, for maybe the 20th time, Amy Hempel's short story _In the Cemetery Where Al Jolson is Buried_. I read it for creative writing class a long time ago. It was written in 1983 for a university fiction journal and I remember it breaking me every time I read it. If you're a woman or woman presenting person with a best friend you love more than anything this story will hurt you in all the best and worst ways. You can find it as a PDF on Fictionaut. Hit me up if you want it and I'll email it to you.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={mapleread} alt="photo of my old iPad with Mapleread open" />
|
||||
|
||||
## Back to bed
|
||||
|
||||
I've been sick a lot while living here and last night was the first night in about two months I actually had any energy so I cleaned the floor and tried to upgrade this site to v3 which broke pretty much everything. I reverted back and now I need to sleep; it is almost 6:30 AM.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: I have Yatee to keep that shit at a minimum but I log into the web interface anyway and I really wish there was a way to completely block that site forever... I actually can. I will do that today.
|
||||
21
src/content/post/cat.mdx
Normal file
21
src/content/post/cat.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Catte.
|
||||
description: Cuz she's my girl and that's alright...if she bites me I won't mind.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
date: "2024-07-10"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import bby from '../../assets/felis-interruptus.jpg'
|
||||
|
||||
Here is Catte trying my patience at my cybersecurity lab:
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Here is Catte judging my gaming skills:
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={bby} alt="my cat"/>
|
||||
|
||||
I love Catte. She is 11 going on 12. She is precious baby.
|
||||
14
src/content/post/cold-kill-review.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/post/cold-kill-review.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Cold Kill Review
|
||||
description: One of the best crime reads I've ever read
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-11-30"
|
||||
date: "2022-11-30"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Jack Olsen is a master at weaving compelling tales about the crimes of some of the most sinister, violent, and stupid people on earth.
|
||||
|
||||
This book was no different.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
cold-kill-review.png
|
||||
28
src/content/post/corporations-give-no-fucks.mdx
Normal file
28
src/content/post/corporations-give-no-fucks.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Corporations just don't give a fuck
|
||||
description: Show me the moneyyyyyyy!!
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
date: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## Corporations are not to be loved
|
||||
|
||||
[Brent Simmons from Inessential](https://inessential.com/2024/01/17/corporations_are_not_to_be_loved.html) writes:
|
||||
|
||||
> I started using Apple computers — and writing code for them, starting with BASIC — 43 years ago, before the Macintosh, even, and I’ve made this my career. I’ve had all these decades to really, thoroughly delight in these incredible machines and software, and to give a little back with my own apps.
|
||||
|
||||
[...]
|
||||
|
||||
> But I need to remember, now and again, that Apple is a corporation, and corporations aren’t people, and they can’t love you back. You wouldn’t love GE or Exxon or Comcast — and you shouldn’t love Apple. It’s not an exception to the rule: there are no exceptions.
|
||||
|
||||
> Apple doesn’t care about you personally in the least tiny bit, and if you were in their way somehow, they would do whatever their might — effectively infinite compared to your own — enables them to deal with you.
|
||||
|
||||
As I said to a friend tonight:
|
||||
|
||||
> I have so much angst and so much to say and yet no one is here to listen. I feel like I am becoming a bit radicalized watching all of this, realizing that at the end of the day the people who employ you, the companies you like, don’t give a single fuck about you and they would drive over your corpse after pissing on it for 15 minutes if it means a 1% increase in share price.
|
||||
|
||||
Corporations are not people. They are here to suck every last bit of capital from every entity and person on earth.
|
||||
|
||||
I have *no* allegiance to any one company, and I *loved* Apple.
|
||||
|
||||
Keep the fucks. It's not [like there's](https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/feb/06/is-big-tech-now-just-too-big-to-stomach) a [tide turning against Big Tech](https://archive.ph/3BlJC) [or anything](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20240207-big-tech-layoffs-perks-cuts)... 🤷🏽♀️
|
||||
BIN
src/content/post/cover-image/cover.png
Normal file
BIN
src/content/post/cover-image/cover.png
Normal file
Binary file not shown.
|
After Width: | Height: | Size: 591 KiB |
10
src/content/post/cover-image/index.md
Normal file
10
src/content/post/cover-image/index.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "Example Cover Image"
|
||||
description: "This post is an example of how to add a cover/hero image"
|
||||
publishDate: "04 July 2023"
|
||||
updatedDate: "14 August 2023"
|
||||
coverImage:
|
||||
src: "./cover.png"
|
||||
alt: "Astro build wallpaper"
|
||||
tags: ["test", "image"]
|
||||
---
|
||||
99
src/content/post/default-apps.mdx
Normal file
99
src/content/post/default-apps.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,99 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Default Apps
|
||||
description: My default apps from 2023.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
date: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
People are [writing](https://canion.blog/2023/11/04/duel-of-the.html) about [their](https://ericmwalk.blog/2023/11/06/application-defaults.html) [default apps](https://gabz.blog/post/my-defaults-tpq2ulkn) in the [small community](https://blog.bdw.li/posts/app-defaults/) that is the indie web. Here are mine.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
📫 Mail Server/Service and Client
|
||||
- Fastmail on iOS and iPadOS
|
||||
- FMail2, free and open source Fastmail client for macOS
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📝 Notes
|
||||
- Notes app
|
||||
- Obsidian
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
✅ To-do
|
||||
- Things
|
||||
- Taskpaper
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📸 iPhone Photography
|
||||
- Moment Pro Photo app
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📹 iPhone videography
|
||||
- Moment Pro Photo app
|
||||
- Filmic Pro Legacy
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🟦 Photo Management
|
||||
- RAW Photos
|
||||
- Photos.app
|
||||
- PowerPhotos (macOS only)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📆 Calendar
|
||||
- Calendars 366
|
||||
- Structured Calendar (Lifetime purchase)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📆 Calendar Backend
|
||||
- Fastmail
|
||||
- iCloud
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📂 Cloud File Storage
|
||||
- iCloud
|
||||
- Nextcloud[^1]
|
||||
- Synology Drive
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📰 RSS
|
||||
- NetNewsWire & Readwise Reader
|
||||
- RSS Backend iCloud[^2]
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🔍 Browser
|
||||
- Arc
|
||||
- Safari
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
💬 Chat
|
||||
- iMessage
|
||||
- Signal
|
||||
- IRC
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🔖 Bookmarks
|
||||
- Notes.app
|
||||
- Goodlinks
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📜 Word Processing
|
||||
- VS Code
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🤑 Budgeting
|
||||
- Google Sheets
|
||||
- My bank app
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🎶 Music
|
||||
- Downloaded tracks with yt-dlp
|
||||
- IINA on macOS
|
||||
- Still need to pony up for iTunes Match
|
||||
- YouTube Music
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🎙️ Podcasts
|
||||
- Overcast, though I am really finding I am done with the majority of Apple and tech focused podcasts. Been listening to this stuff for over 10 years now. Need a breather.
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
🔐 Password Management
|
||||
- 1Password[^3]
|
||||
- Vaultwarden[^4]
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
📸 Photo Editing
|
||||
- RAW Photos
|
||||
- Darkroom
|
||||
- Photomator
|
||||
- Pixelmator Pro
|
||||
- Pixelmator Photo
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
What are yours?
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: I am unfortunately still out of work and I've had to find creative ways to cut back on expenses. I self host a lot of services where I am staying, my friend's mom letting me setup my home lab in my room. I can host these services for free. It is not for the faint of heart; if you hate tinkering, if you hate doing research on bug fixing and troubleshooting, if you hate learning how to secure a network and fight the bots that will inevitably pummel your network with junk packets, if you hate YAML, it isn't for you.
|
||||
[^2]: I am looking at moving away from as many proprietary services as I can so FreshRSS, another self-hosted alternative to RSS backends will be my move. NetNewsWire has the option to grab your feeds from your own self-hosted RSS service.
|
||||
[^3]: I love 1Password. I have everything in it. The problem for me right now is affordability. I don't think it is possible for me to switch as it's just too important to my workflow; ssh keys, GitHub tokens, all of this built right into the client. It's just too good.
|
||||
[^4]: I am testing out Vaultwarden as a 1Password alternative. It is an open source client you can, *surprise surprise*, self-host. It is *severely* lacking in features so it looks like 1Password is still my go to for the foreseeable future.
|
||||
85
src/content/post/defaults-2024.mdx
Normal file
85
src/content/post/defaults-2024.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,85 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Default Apps 2024
|
||||
description: Back with the default apps roundup for 2024
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-12-25"
|
||||
date: "2024-12-26"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
It's the eve of 2025 and it is time for another default apps post.
|
||||
|
||||
> Updated 2025-03-06 to reflect changes in workflow.
|
||||
|
||||
- 📫 Mail Server
|
||||
- Fastmail
|
||||
- 📨 Mail Client
|
||||
- Nextcloud Mail
|
||||
- Fastmail
|
||||
- Thunderbird
|
||||
- 📂 Cloud File Storage
|
||||
- Nextcloud
|
||||
- 🌐 Browser
|
||||
- Vivaldi
|
||||
- Zen
|
||||
- 📆 Calendar
|
||||
- Nextcloud Calendar
|
||||
- 📑 Read It Later
|
||||
- Readeck
|
||||
- 💬 Chat
|
||||
- Signal, Nextcloud Talk, Wire, Matrix, IRC
|
||||
- 📝 Notes
|
||||
- Nextcloud Notes
|
||||
- Plain text
|
||||
- Markdown files
|
||||
- ✅ To-do
|
||||
- Nextcloud Tasks
|
||||
- 📸 iPhone Photography
|
||||
- Halide II
|
||||
- Moment
|
||||
- iOS Camera
|
||||
- 🔲 Photo Management
|
||||
- Raw Photos
|
||||
- Photos App
|
||||
- PowerPhotos
|
||||
- 📰 RSS
|
||||
- FreshRSS for sync (selfhosted)
|
||||
- Reeder 5 (iOS)
|
||||
- ReadYOU (Android)
|
||||
- 👯 Contacts
|
||||
- Apple Contacts
|
||||
- Fastmail Contacts
|
||||
- Nextcloud Contacts
|
||||
- 🎶 Music
|
||||
- Jellyfin
|
||||
- YouTube Music
|
||||
- 🎙️Podcasts
|
||||
- Apple Podcasts
|
||||
- 🔐 Password Management
|
||||
- 1Password
|
||||
- Vaultwarden
|
||||
|
||||
## Additional Categories
|
||||
|
||||
- 🖥️ Programming
|
||||
- Neovim
|
||||
- LazyVim
|
||||
- Transmit SFTP Client
|
||||
- 💻 Terminal
|
||||
- [Ghostty](https://ghostty.org)
|
||||
- 📷 Photo Editing
|
||||
- Darkroom
|
||||
- 🔃 Version Control
|
||||
- Git/GitHub
|
||||
- Codeberg
|
||||
- [Gitea](https://git.tiff.engineer/)
|
||||
- [Forgejo](https://git.tifflabs.cfd)
|
||||
- 🗞 News
|
||||
- RSS
|
||||
- Hacker News
|
||||
- [Lobsters](https://lobste.rs)
|
||||
- 💰Budgeting and Personal Finance
|
||||
- [Maybe](https://maybefinance.com) (selfhosted)
|
||||
- Spreadsheet
|
||||
|
||||
### Non-Apple Apps
|
||||
|
||||
I have alternatives for some of these apps on Linux and Android. If anyone is interested just give me a holler.
|
||||
13
src/content/post/depression-sucks.mdx
Normal file
13
src/content/post/depression-sucks.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Depression is a cruel mistress
|
||||
description: Fuck you you dark, brooding, bastard of misery.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
excerpt: Fuck you you dark, brooding, bastard of misery.
|
||||
date: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Hey there brain, thanks for playing. You know it would be helpful if just for once you could stop misfiring the neurons. It's a complex system up there, no doubt, but I just want like a whole month of _peace_.
|
||||
|
||||
Depression sucks, it's bad, and you should feel bad for making me feel it.
|
||||
|
||||
Would just like a quiet mind.
|
||||
16
src/content/post/dr-feelgood.mdx
Normal file
16
src/content/post/dr-feelgood.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: 80's Hair Metal and the quest to stop spiraling
|
||||
description: Dr. Feelgood for when I Feelbad
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-09"
|
||||
excerpt: Dr. Feelgood for when I Feelbad
|
||||
date: "2025-03-09"
|
||||
---
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import doctorfeel from '../../assets/dr-feelgood.png'
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={doctorfeel} alt='screenshot of youtube music dr feelgood by motley crue' />
|
||||
|
||||
It's whatever, man.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
44
src/content/post/fitting-the-lab.mdx
Normal file
44
src/content/post/fitting-the-lab.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Moving to Linux, a Series
|
||||
description: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-27"
|
||||
excerpt: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import neofetch from '../../assets/neofetch_hyprshot.png'
|
||||
import fulllabview from '../../assets/full-lab-view.jpg'
|
||||
import closeup from '../../assets/close-up.jpg'
|
||||
|
||||
In his post [migrating from the Apple ecosystem](https://beardystarstuff.net/posts/2025-02-19.html) Bearded Guy talked about the recent cowardice shown by Apple, a platform he's used since 1993, cowtowing to the current regime in the White House. As someone who does not have the luxury of being a cis white man, or white _at all_, the current state of affairs is terrifying me.
|
||||
|
||||
Having Apple, a company I at once admired and bought thousands of dollars worth of hardware once I was able to afford to do so, be _this brazen_ about supporting fascists will never sit right with me.
|
||||
|
||||
The charade about privacy and human rights, looking back now,_disgusts me_ because I believed them. They were the good guys in a sea of corporate evil.
|
||||
|
||||
I should have known better. Corpos gonna corpo, capitalists gonna horde capital, grifters gonna grift. It's a tale as old as time. If there is money to be made and suckers who will pay you for your snake oil, unscrupulous people will do whatever it takes to extract capital from you. That's how it works.
|
||||
|
||||
I am not only forced to do this because of my finances; I wouldn't buy another Mac even if I had the money to. There are extremely capable alternatives on Linux, and I've been downloading them.
|
||||
|
||||
And, I have to say, Linux is _fun_. Some of the apps may not _delight_ but they are functional and _fun_. That's how computing should make a user feel- happy. And Linux makes me feel happy.
|
||||
|
||||
## My distros of choice
|
||||
|
||||
Arch, btw. And an Arch fork CachyOS for the very old laptop.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={neofetch} alt="screenshot of my neofetch terminal on arch linux" />
|
||||
|
||||
## The lab is coming along as well
|
||||
|
||||
Take a peak.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={fulllabview} alt="full view of the lab in the room I stay in" />
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={closeup} alt="close up view of the lab in the room I stay in"/>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Video of the space, with trash that needs to be taken out, tut tut
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
79
src/content/post/going-from-reeder-to-netnewswire.mdx
Normal file
79
src/content/post/going-from-reeder-to-netnewswire.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,79 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Going from Reeder to NetNewsWire
|
||||
description: RSS Lives!
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-07-20"
|
||||
date: "2022-07-20"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import reeder from '../../assets/reeder.png'
|
||||
import nnw from '../../assets/nnw.png'
|
||||
import whitenw from '../../assets/white-nnw.png'
|
||||
import blacknw from '../../assets/black-nnw.png'
|
||||
import ipadwhitenw from '../../assets/ipad-nnw.png'
|
||||
import ipadblacknw from '../../assets/ipad-black-nnw.png'
|
||||
|
||||
I've hopped between different RSS reeders ever since I started using RSS back in 2007.
|
||||
|
||||
I was on Windows then and using FeedDemon[^1].
|
||||
|
||||
Eventually I discovered Google Reader and hooked it up with FeedDemon for syncing across to my Samsung Galaxy, the first smartphone I owned back in 2010.
|
||||
|
||||
There were so many different types of RSS readers, my favorite being gReader for Android. It was customizable and easy on the eyes. That was an RSS reader I would stick with until I moved to iPhone in 2014.
|
||||
|
||||
## 2013 and the demise of Google Reader
|
||||
|
||||
I don't need to rehash the seismic shift in the media landscape after Google shutdown Reader. It was devastating for diehard nerds like me and my friends and folks in countries that censored information.
|
||||
|
||||
However from the ashes rose my next RSS sync/reader service, Feedly.
|
||||
|
||||
## The rise of RSS reader sync/apps
|
||||
|
||||
I used a lot of them on iOS and iPad. The list:
|
||||
|
||||
- Mr. Reader
|
||||
- Fiery Feeds
|
||||
- Feedly
|
||||
- Lyre
|
||||
- Reeder
|
||||
- Unread
|
||||
- NetNewsWire
|
||||
|
||||
I enjoyed all of them for different reasons, but the one I kept returning to was Reeder.
|
||||
|
||||
Why? It's one of the most pleasant and beautifully designed apps I've ever used.
|
||||
|
||||
Then NetNewsWire [came back from the dead](https://inessential.com/2018/08/31/netnewswire_comes_home).
|
||||
|
||||
All the usual Apple pundits raved about it and I gave it a shot.
|
||||
|
||||
I disliked it off the bat and went back to Reeder.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={whitenw} alt="NetNewsWire light mode"/>
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={blacknw} alt="NetNewsWire dark mode"/>
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={reeder} alt="Reeder"/>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
## A change of reading habits
|
||||
|
||||
Ever since [Matter](https://hq.getmatter.com/) came on the scene, allowing you to bring in your newsletter subscriptions into one centralized place, I've been looking for a more power user set of reading tools as I've decided to ramp up more of my writing content.
|
||||
|
||||
That plus Obsidian and Shortcuts on the Mac makes for a great research/writing workflow.
|
||||
|
||||
I decided to give NNW a try this past weekend and found that I enjoy it; the interface I found to be too cluttered at first fit right into the new way I consume written media.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={ipadwhitenw} alt="NetNewsWire iPad light mode"/>
|
||||
<Image src={ipadblacknw} alt="NetNewsWire iPad dark mode"/>
|
||||
<Image src={nnw} alt="NetNewsWire"/>
|
||||
|
||||
## What's next?
|
||||
|
||||
I think, for as long as my written media consumption remains the same, NNW is my RSS reader of choice. That may change; nerds are never satisfied with their tools.
|
||||
|
||||
We'll see.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: Which I still miss by the way.
|
||||
14
src/content/post/i-cannot.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/post/i-cannot.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: I just can't do it
|
||||
description: Why?
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-04"
|
||||
date: "2025-03-04"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Everyday is a struggle and the fascism continues to creep into democracies across the globe.
|
||||
|
||||
My life has gotten so tiresome that the level in CoD where you're in Burger Town in some suburb and it is dark as hell as the country is expecting a nuke to go off.
|
||||
|
||||
I imagine myself in that situation, in the middle of the road, screaming, "YES! Ha ha YES!" like the Sicko from Sickos Committee. I fear nothing anymore. But I'm tired.
|
||||
|
||||
Like sometimes I just would rather not wake up. And when I do and I open my computer I am reminded I should have stayed in bed, or at least never called the ambulance in 2004 and stayed asleep forever.
|
||||
12
src/content/post/in-my-feelings.mdx
Normal file
12
src/content/post/in-my-feelings.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: In My Feelings
|
||||
description: Grief sucks
|
||||
publishDate: "2023-03-17"
|
||||
date: "2023-03-17"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Complex Grief is hell. It's been 2 years since I lost my mom to dementia, my job to COVID, and my therapist who was more than that to me, more like my best friend, all within 9 months.
|
||||
|
||||
I am still not over any of this and I should probably seek grief counseling.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway here's a playlist.
|
||||
14
src/content/post/installed-arch-btw.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/post/installed-arch-btw.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Installed Arch, btw
|
||||
description: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-25"
|
||||
excerpt: Moving to Linux in the near future.
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import hyprshot from '../../assets/2025-03-25-hyprshot.png'
|
||||
|
||||
Maybe I'll write about the whole switch on this blog but in the meantime, Hyprland rice is the best thing on Linux right now.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={hyprshot} alt="screenshot from hyprshot on Arch"/>
|
||||
26
src/content/post/lab-new-place.mdx
Normal file
26
src/content/post/lab-new-place.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: New digs, new lab
|
||||
description: My move has been a bright spot, the first in three years.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-19"
|
||||
excerpt: My move has been a bright spot, the first in three years.
|
||||
date: "2025-03-19"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import roomlab from "../../assets/room-lab-v1.jpg"
|
||||
import backdrop from "../../assets/backdrop-v1.jpeg"
|
||||
|
||||
My uncle, friend, and I rescued the necessary stuff from my storage unit and now everything I own is in this room, where over $30,000 of stuff I owned has been auctioned off at the storage unit I rented that I can no longer afford.
|
||||
|
||||
I grabbed all of my main tech stuff plus my OLED TV which is over at my uncle's room.
|
||||
|
||||
I am currently deciding whether to write about my next endeavor but in the meantime here is how I'm arranging the room:
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={roomlab} alt="picture of my room lab" />
|
||||
*Main lab area with all the electronics and PC gear needed for my next project. Needs a bit of organizing and cleanup but.*
|
||||
|
||||
This is the backdrop I am working on beside my bed. Trying to decide where I should put these framed posters.
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={backdrop} alt="the backdrop of content i will never make" />
|
||||
*Main lab area with all the electronics and PC gear needed for my next project*.
|
||||
115
src/content/post/markdown-elements/admonistions.md
Normal file
115
src/content/post/markdown-elements/admonistions.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,115 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "Markdown Admonitions"
|
||||
description: "This post showcases using the markdown admonition feature in Astro Cactus"
|
||||
publishDate: "25 Aug 2024"
|
||||
updatedDate: "7 Jan 2025"
|
||||
tags: ["markdown", "admonitions"]
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## What are admonitions
|
||||
|
||||
Admonitions (also known as “asides”) are useful for providing supportive and/or supplementary information related to your content.
|
||||
|
||||
## How to use them
|
||||
|
||||
To use admonitions in Astro Cactus, wrap your Markdown content in a pair of triple colons `:::`. The first pair should also include the type of admonition you want to use.
|
||||
|
||||
For example, with the following Markdown:
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::note
|
||||
Highlights information that users should take into account, even when skimming.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
Outputs:
|
||||
|
||||
:::note
|
||||
Highlights information that users should take into account, even when skimming.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
## Admonition Types
|
||||
|
||||
The following admonitions are currently supported:
|
||||
|
||||
- `note`
|
||||
- `tip`
|
||||
- `important`
|
||||
- `warning`
|
||||
- `caution`
|
||||
|
||||
### Note
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::note
|
||||
Highlights information that users should take into account, even when skimming.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
:::note
|
||||
Highlights information that users should take into account, even when skimming.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
### Tip
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::tip
|
||||
Optional information to help a user be more successful.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
:::tip
|
||||
Optional information to help a user be more successful.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
### Important
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::important
|
||||
Crucial information necessary for users to succeed.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
:::important
|
||||
Crucial information necessary for users to succeed.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
### Caution
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::caution
|
||||
Negative potential consequences of an action.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
:::caution
|
||||
Negative potential consequences of an action.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
### Warning
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::warning
|
||||
Critical content demanding immediate user attention due to potential risks.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
:::warning
|
||||
Critical content demanding immediate user attention due to potential risks.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
## Customising the admonition title
|
||||
|
||||
You can customise the admonition title using the following markup:
|
||||
|
||||
```md
|
||||
:::note[My custom title]
|
||||
This is a note with a custom title.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
Outputs:
|
||||
|
||||
:::note[My custom title]
|
||||
This is a note with a custom title.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
173
src/content/post/markdown-elements/index.md
Normal file
173
src/content/post/markdown-elements/index.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,173 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "A post of Markdown elements"
|
||||
description: "This post is for testing and listing a number of different markdown elements"
|
||||
publishDate: "22 Feb 2023"
|
||||
updatedDate: 22 Jan 2024
|
||||
tags: ["test", "markdown"]
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## This is a H2 Heading
|
||||
|
||||
### This is a H3 Heading
|
||||
|
||||
#### This is a H4 Heading
|
||||
|
||||
##### This is a H5 Heading
|
||||
|
||||
###### This is a H6 Heading
|
||||
|
||||
## Horizontal Rules
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## Emphasis
|
||||
|
||||
**This is bold text**
|
||||
|
||||
_This is italic text_
|
||||
|
||||
~~Strikethrough~~
|
||||
|
||||
## Quotes
|
||||
|
||||
"Double quotes" and 'single quotes'
|
||||
|
||||
## Blockquotes
|
||||
|
||||
> Blockquotes can also be nested...
|
||||
>
|
||||
> > ...by using additional greater-than signs right next to each other...
|
||||
|
||||
## References
|
||||
|
||||
An example containing a clickable reference[^1] with a link to the source.
|
||||
|
||||
Second example containing a reference[^2] with a link to the source.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: Reference first footnote with a return to content link.
|
||||
|
||||
[^2]: Second reference with a link.
|
||||
|
||||
If you check out this example in `src/content/post/markdown-elements/index.md`, you'll notice that the references and the heading "Footnotes" are added to the bottom of the page via the [remark-rehype](https://github.com/remarkjs/remark-rehype#options) plugin.
|
||||
|
||||
## Lists
|
||||
|
||||
Unordered
|
||||
|
||||
- Create a list by starting a line with `+`, `-`, or `*`
|
||||
- Sub-lists are made by indenting 2 spaces:
|
||||
- Marker character change forces new list start:
|
||||
- Ac tristique libero volutpat at
|
||||
- Facilisis in pretium nisl aliquet
|
||||
- Nulla volutpat aliquam velit
|
||||
- Very easy!
|
||||
|
||||
Ordered
|
||||
|
||||
1. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet
|
||||
2. Consectetur adipiscing elit
|
||||
3. Integer molestie lorem at massa
|
||||
|
||||
4. You can use sequential numbers...
|
||||
5. ...or keep all the numbers as `1.`
|
||||
|
||||
Start numbering with offset:
|
||||
|
||||
57. foo
|
||||
1. bar
|
||||
|
||||
## Code
|
||||
|
||||
Inline `code`
|
||||
|
||||
Indented code
|
||||
|
||||
// Some comments
|
||||
line 1 of code
|
||||
line 2 of code
|
||||
line 3 of code
|
||||
|
||||
Block code "fences"
|
||||
|
||||
```
|
||||
Sample text here...
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
Syntax highlighting
|
||||
|
||||
```js
|
||||
var foo = function (bar) {
|
||||
return bar++;
|
||||
};
|
||||
|
||||
console.log(foo(5));
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
### Expressive code examples
|
||||
|
||||
Adding a title
|
||||
|
||||
```js title="file.js"
|
||||
console.log("Title example");
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
A bash terminal
|
||||
|
||||
```bash
|
||||
echo "A base terminal example"
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
Highlighting code lines
|
||||
|
||||
```js title="line-markers.js" del={2} ins={3-4} {6}
|
||||
function demo() {
|
||||
console.log("this line is marked as deleted");
|
||||
// This line and the next one are marked as inserted
|
||||
console.log("this is the second inserted line");
|
||||
|
||||
return "this line uses the neutral default marker type";
|
||||
}
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
[Expressive Code](https://expressive-code.com/) can do a ton more than shown here, and includes a lot of [customisation](https://expressive-code.com/reference/configuration/).
|
||||
|
||||
## Tables
|
||||
|
||||
| Option | Description |
|
||||
| ------ | ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
|
||||
| data | path to data files to supply the data that will be passed into templates. |
|
||||
| engine | engine to be used for processing templates. Handlebars is the default. |
|
||||
| ext | extension to be used for dest files. |
|
||||
|
||||
### Table Alignment
|
||||
|
||||
| Item | Price | # In stock |
|
||||
| ------------ | :---: | ---------: |
|
||||
| Juicy Apples | 1.99 | 739 |
|
||||
| Bananas | 1.89 | 6 |
|
||||
|
||||
### Keyboard elements
|
||||
|
||||
| Action | Shortcut |
|
||||
| --------------------- | ------------------------------------------ |
|
||||
| Vertical split | <kbd>Alt+Shift++</kbd> |
|
||||
| Horizontal split | <kbd>Alt+Shift+-</kbd> |
|
||||
| Auto split | <kbd>Alt+Shift+d</kbd> |
|
||||
| Switch between splits | <kbd>Alt</kbd> + arrow keys |
|
||||
| Resizing a split | <kbd>Alt+Shift</kbd> + arrow keys |
|
||||
| Close a split | <kbd>Ctrl+Shift+W</kbd> |
|
||||
| Maximize a pane | <kbd>Ctrl+Shift+P</kbd> + Toggle pane zoom |
|
||||
|
||||
## Images
|
||||
|
||||
Image in the same folder: `src/content/post/markdown-elements/logo.png`
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
## Links
|
||||
|
||||
[Content from markdown-it](https://markdown-it.github.io/)
|
||||
BIN
src/content/post/markdown-elements/logo.png
Normal file
BIN
src/content/post/markdown-elements/logo.png
Normal file
Binary file not shown.
|
After Width: | Height: | Size: 4.2 KiB |
35
src/content/post/my-nam.mdx
Normal file
35
src/content/post/my-nam.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: My 'Nam'
|
||||
description: There's trauma in these skreets.
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
excerpt: There's trauma in these skreets.
|
||||
date: "2025-03-16"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Banging on the walls, screaming, yelling, and crying around where I live is my Vietnam.
|
||||
|
||||
It's happening right now and it's a thing where you gotta take out an airpod and listen, and if you're not allowed to be strapped, you put whatever you can right by your hand so if the shit pops off you can at least get a slice or two if they enter.
|
||||
|
||||
At that place I lived out by Pittsburgh, shit popped off _every fucking day_. Fights at 1 AM against my door, yelling outside of the slum. My young neighbor telling my friend the next time he rang her doorbell because mine is broken she was going to blow his fucking brains out, keep playing, she told him. He wasn't scared; this n*gga was on the street, addict, in jail, he is not scared of*anything\*. Mans got stabbed in the chest, lung punctured, and chased the guy down who stabbed him and beat his head against the curb. Lucky for them both he was running out of air.
|
||||
|
||||
He legit saw someone's brains get splattered on the sidewalk. He _is not scared of you, sis._ Keep moving.
|
||||
|
||||
When I moved there, I was coming from a small inner city. I knew crime I lived down the streets from the projects. But Pittsburgh is 3x as large and the boroughs and townships along the Monongahela River where there are empty mill towns and crime all up and down the shore lines have hardened me.
|
||||
|
||||
I'd never been in the midst of so much violence.
|
||||
|
||||
When I was in the food line there was a library behind us. I said, does anyone use that library? The older ladies told me, "This is [insert town] we don't read here in [town]".
|
||||
|
||||
Food line would span out around the school block.
|
||||
|
||||
It wasn't necessarily a mistake to move there. I learned to code and went to meetups out there. I would not have had that opportunity here. Those opportunities gave me a launching pad to actually being a functioning member of society with a good income at one job and an phenomenal one at my last. I was able to buy things I never could have before. I could save money, improve my credit, treat my friends to dinner and gifts, and actually buy my mom expensive Christmas presents.
|
||||
|
||||
But there was a cost to all of it. I sold my soul for money and things and ended up losing everything.
|
||||
|
||||
So I am in another predicament where there are unsavory people all around me. I have some pretty big and sharp knives by my desk and my bed. Those are my only defense besides my fists. I'm older now so not sure how effective my punches would be[^1] but I still have very large hands that make very large fists.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway the brouhaha has subsided for a minute.
|
||||
|
||||
Someone told a guy to "keep [runnin that train](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/run_a_train) boy!" the other day and when he said that I knew that this was, indeed, a motel and I should treat living here like it.
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: 18-23 year old me was concussing people with a single punch. I was an angry lass and a large one too, mom said I was strong as an ox. Now? Who's to say. But don't test it, though.
|
||||
8
src/content/post/new-digs-new-year.mdx
Normal file
8
src/content/post/new-digs-new-year.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: New Digs
|
||||
description: From a shoebox to just right
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-12-25"
|
||||
date: "2024-12-26"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
42
src/content/post/no-one-is-paying-for-search.mdx
Normal file
42
src/content/post/no-one-is-paying-for-search.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: No One is Paying for Search
|
||||
description: There's a new search engine in town that requires you to pay for it.
|
||||
publishDate: "2023-05-23"
|
||||
date: "2023-05-23"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
import { Image } from "astro:assets";
|
||||
|
||||
import kagi from '../../assets/kagi.png'
|
||||
|
||||
From kagi.com:
|
||||
|
||||
> Kagi has no ads and is fully supported only by its users. We worked very hard to provide high quality, fast and tracking-free results at a minimum cost to ensure sustainability of our operation.
|
||||
|
||||
> By choosing a paid Kagi plan you are helping accelerate our mission of humanizing the web. Kagi also pledges 5% of its profits to supporting non-profit organizations for a more humane internet.
|
||||
|
||||
## Ok but how much??
|
||||
|
||||
<Image src={kagi} alt="screenshot of kagi pricing"/>
|
||||
|
||||
*Madness*.
|
||||
|
||||
## UPDATE:
|
||||
|
||||
From the Kagi blog:
|
||||
|
||||
> Kagi takes pride in offering an array of beneficial AI tools, including “Quick Answers,” “Summarize Page,” and “Ask Questions about Document,” not to mention our highly regarded Universal Summarizer.
|
||||
|
||||
[...]
|
||||
|
||||
> In response to your feedback and as part of our commitment to enhancing your experience, we’re excited to announce the removal of these restrictions for all our paid plans. In addition, we’ve increased the limits on our Trial plan. These changes provide you with unimpeded access to these valuable tools to improve your productivity and the quality of your work.
|
||||
|
||||
Look I love when companies come out of the box swinging, but no one outside people who have the disposable income to pay for this will pay.
|
||||
|
||||
> While mainstream search engines generate approximately 5-10 cents per search through advertising revenue, Kagi offers an ad-free alternative that prioritizes users' best interests. By charging a nominal fee for searches, Kagi ensures that its search results are faster, more accurate, and completely respectful of your privacy.
|
||||
|
||||
[...]
|
||||
|
||||
> By aligning our incentives with those of our users, Kagi is committed to building a better, more ethical future for ourselves and our children on the web.
|
||||
|
||||
Their mission is noble, but you can't say you want a better web for children on the web when you put a gate around how these children will be able to access this information and participate in a *better, more ethical future* for themselves.
|
||||
42
src/content/post/nuff-said.mdx
Normal file
42
src/content/post/nuff-said.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "'Nuff Said"
|
||||
description: Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-05-18"
|
||||
date: "2024-05-18"
|
||||
youtube: true
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/mzKU1)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/dhaW0)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/1tfVM)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/Ztqcj)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/R5sbG)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/9lI2o)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/vtbfh)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
[Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!](https://archive.ph/hRRS3)
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[Mother fucker!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QiFl9Dc7D0)
|
||||
47
src/content/post/on-social-media.mdx
Normal file
47
src/content/post/on-social-media.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: The Ruthless Psychology of Social Media Apps
|
||||
description: We're addicted and it isn't our fault.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
date: "2024-01-29"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
We're addicted and it isn't our fault.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
# On Social Media
|
||||
|
||||
[Gabz writes](https://gabz.blog/post/on-social-media-wirl_wna):
|
||||
|
||||
> As I was in my 5:00 am meeting today I was, well, multitasking, as you do, and somewhat browsing around and stumble upon this article by Mister Davis Sparks, [THE GROWING TIDE AGAINST SOCIAL MEDIA](https://www.macsparky.com/blog/2024/01/the-growing-tide-against-social-media/)
|
||||
> As I was reading, there was a lot of noting and "yepping". And there was one piece of it that kind of stuck out and had me thinking for a bit.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
I read that article, too. And I couldn't agree with it more.
|
||||
|
||||
He continues:
|
||||
|
||||
> The second thing is the TikTok addiction. I am proud to say that I have **never** downloaded this app and I plan to, for as long as I can manage, never download it. As I have might said somewhere one time, I do not need another _let's-get-high-on-dopamine_ kind of app.
|
||||
|
||||
This is the crux of it; the deliberate use of flaws in human psychology to keep us hooked on an app in order to serve us more ads, so they can create more growth, for shareholders who are already bursting at the seams with wealth, for a stock market that is really just craps for the wealthy, is so despicable I can't think about it without feeling rage.
|
||||
|
||||
Not only did I buy into the farce that I would need to use it in 2009 to further a career in writing I didn't even know if I wanted (it's career *suicide*!) I opened myself up to every platform under the sun to try to grind my way to literary relevance: a wide open Facebook profile where I accumulated 5,000 "friends", who, by the way, were *writers* and not my intended audience. A Twitter account in 2009 that started off really fun but ended up being a vessel for shilling an artists wares. It got better when I switched to tech, which is what I wanted to do forever and then 2016 happened.
|
||||
|
||||
## Social anxiety is a social media app's best friend
|
||||
|
||||
I suffer from crippling social anxiety. It's not just introversion; it is full on I don't function well around people and refuse to go anywhere where there will be more than a handful and if there are more, the throng should be moving around and not just standing there or my heart palpitates and I will find a way out of the building.
|
||||
|
||||
It has a lot to do with trauma, and I think most people with social anxiety have some form of trauma. Facebook, in particular, ran an experiement right before the 2016 election to guage how a user responds to posts using the new *reaction* buttons. If you reacted angry, hell yeah, let's give you more shit that will make you even MORE angry, this way you will continue to engage in our cesspool of targeted ads and clickbait. It was documented in the tech press and Facebook discontinued the A/B test of that feature. The damage was done.
|
||||
|
||||
I was addicted. Heavily. My friends and my ex would say that I was addicted and I refused to believe it.
|
||||
|
||||
But I started to realize that my anxiety and general unhappiness coincided with a medicine change and my continued abuse of social media.
|
||||
|
||||
## I thought I couldn't quit you
|
||||
|
||||
Oh but I did. The belief you have friends on Facebook because they interact with your posts, whether you feel happy, sad, express trauma, or announce a good or bad thing, is what caught me. Instead of hanging out with my in real life friends, I depended on a few "friends" I made on Facebook who, since I deleted it, have not made any real effort to reach out to me, and I don't expect it. I think it bothers me a bit because of how sincere they seemed. And maybe they truly want the best for me, as I them. But I had to be real with myself, I don't really know those people, and they don't really know me, even though that profile was like my group therapy once I locked it down.
|
||||
|
||||
I've deleted Twitter. I have one account there for sports and I regret looking at it every time I open it. I'll probably be deleting that account as well.
|
||||
|
||||
I don't use Threads or Instagram. YouTube is a rabbit hole I am trying to hack my way out of wasting so much time watching bullshit there. I had to delete hundreds of subscriptions and force myself to not subscribe to any more channels. I find there's nothing really to watch as the channels I decided to keep around don't post much. When that happens, I do something else, like read, which is the way I've always liked it.
|
||||
|
||||
There's a reckoning coming but for whom and for how long??
|
||||
14
src/content/post/palestine-rally-channel-5-news.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/post/palestine-rally-channel-5-news.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Palestine Rally Channel 5 News
|
||||
description: The Holy War rages on.
|
||||
publishDate: "2023-10-17"
|
||||
date: "2023-10-17"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Andrew Callaghan at Channel 5 News is many things[^1] but he's *still* one of the best journalists, anywhere.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: The allegations of sexual misconduct are unforgivable and he has addressed this with honesty. It does not excuse the behavior, nor does his journalism, but I think his channel is important and ignoring it altogether does a disservice to nuanced discourse.
|
||||
145
src/content/post/ptsd-and-me.mdx
Normal file
145
src/content/post/ptsd-and-me.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,145 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: PTSD and Me
|
||||
description: I made my peace can I go home?
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-06"
|
||||
excerpt: I made my peace can I go home?
|
||||
date: "2025-03-06"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
I have suffered from cPTSD for most of my teenage and adult life.
|
||||
|
||||
But from 2021-2025, and more so concentrated to the past two years, the experiences I've had have given me a more acute form of PTSD that I've never experienced before.
|
||||
|
||||
The day I was in that filthy room, that filthy small shoebox and my cat was on my bed, looking super scared... I was going to be going inpatient, to a psych hospital compound about 45 minutes from me. I am standing there, I can barely stand, I am filthy, and I am unable to stop crying. My arms are flailing...
|
||||
|
||||
I was in my friend's car losing my mind. I wanted to hit things, I wanted to break the car window with my skull. I am screaming, out loud, and grunting from the anger and despair I was feeling.
|
||||
|
||||
## And
|
||||
|
||||
My friend walks me into the ER, and they call me to the window to get my information and I cannot stop crying. I have never experienced a time in my life where I couldn't stop crying. Ever.
|
||||
|
||||
I cry in the room with just a mattress and a sheet.
|
||||
|
||||
I cry at the hospital. I have PTSD and the notes on my condition from the nurses say I have a blunt affect, I show no emotion, and do not interact with the other patients.
|
||||
|
||||
## Before
|
||||
|
||||
I had agoraphobia. And it was extremely bad. I still suffer from it but it is not nearly as bad as it was just five months ago.
|
||||
|
||||
My uncle took me to get my photo ID renewed some time in October. I had put it off for years but I needed it to actually live my life. So we went.
|
||||
|
||||
I walked into the DMV and I shook. I was shaking so goddamn bad, in public. It was something I do not do, did not do, in my entire godforsaken life and here I am shaking like a leaf and trying not to have a breakdown.
|
||||
|
||||
I had the woman my money while my hand shakes and I am fighting back tears.
|
||||
|
||||
I wanted nothing more than to die.
|
||||
|
||||
I got back in my uncle's truck and I have a breakdown; I could not stop crying. He asked me what was wrong and I didn't have the heart to tell him and even if I did I don't think I understood it much myself.
|
||||
|
||||
## The Room
|
||||
|
||||
There's much to talk about about where me and Catte were living. It was small. I was agoraphobic. The house at the time was a hoarding situation. I barely ate after a while. Cooking in that kitchen was something I wasn't going to do as the kitchen was gross. Sometimes when my roommate would cook it was spoiled. So I ended up buying microwave meals.
|
||||
|
||||
There was a ton of centipedes and moths. And I kept bringing stuff in, creature comforts that I didn't have room for. I tried to bring in things to organize things but it never worked. I had no door on my bedroom and that bedroom is where I stayed, pretty much all the time. After a while I stopped taking care of myself completely; I didn't shower, my bladder stopped working. I had no clean clothes because doing all that laundry at the laundry mat is expensive and her washer and dryer didn't work.
|
||||
|
||||
Catte stopped playing and running around. She started to have problems with her skin.
|
||||
|
||||
I would lay in bed, a filthy fucking bed and bang my head against the wall, literally. I'd grab my skin and just like take my fingernails to my skin. I was so angry. I wanted to break everything, everything I owned I wanted to break it.
|
||||
|
||||
Every night I was fighting my surrounding filth, my own filth, my cat not knowing what to do but loving me anyway.
|
||||
|
||||
Without my bedroom door, I heard Fox News 24/7 which. I mean it's Fox okay.
|
||||
|
||||
My roommate rescued me from certain homelessness, but by the end, I didn't pay enough and her son came back home. He cleaned the entire house and I was still a filthy, delusional, psychotic fucking mess of a human being and I needed to leave. They were going to call the sheriff on me and I committed no crime.
|
||||
|
||||
The day I watched Catte crawl to the corner of the bed with her big eyes looking to me for comfort still haunts me. I miss that cat so I will stop writing about her now. She is still at the house, last time I checked. They are taking her to the vet, she is having her run of the house and it hurts me to no end that I could not provide that for her like I used to. Anyway...
|
||||
|
||||
## After the ward
|
||||
|
||||
I was able to move to where I am now, an extended stay motel. It's the cheapest nice place you can get in this area when you have no available credit, as all my cards are maxed out after losing my job in '22 and trying to stay in that beautiful townhouse I lived in.
|
||||
|
||||
I moved here and I remember going to bed and waking up in the middle of the night not knowing where I was. I was still at my roommate's house; I'd wake up and think I was still living there. I was disoriented and couldn't stay asleep, _at all_.
|
||||
|
||||
I was going to group therapy and it wasn't until the one group where I started talking about the experiences of the last four or so years that I began to disassociate and realize just how fucked up the past two years have made me. I cried in that group, or, I tried to _not_ cry but the tears kept falling without me making a sound.
|
||||
|
||||
## American
|
||||
|
||||
I tried to not rely on subsidies and handouts. I fought like hell to be a taxpaying American so that I didn't have to palm my EBT card when I went to the grocery store and lost everything along the way.
|
||||
|
||||
I lost my home, I lost my jobs, I lost my mother, I lost my therapist, I lost my mobility, I lost my sanity, I lost my cat, and I lost myself, and that's the one thing I will never get back.
|
||||
|
||||
I used to have phobias. I do not have them anymore. Things that I used to fear I no longer do. I fear almost nothing at all. I suppose that's a perk of acute PTSD.
|
||||
|
||||
However I am super hypervigilant, I have a collection of knives and sometimes the pain is so overwhelming I try to find a place that will allow me to buy a way to suck on a 🔫.
|
||||
|
||||
It's the thing where I can't promise any of my friends and loved ones that I won't end my life, but as I said at my time at the ward and in group therapy I don't have anything to live for and I have zero hope for anything to ever bring me joy again.
|
||||
|
||||
## Soundtrack to the end of last year
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
**Lyrics**
|
||||
|
||||
> When will we die? This life isn't fair
|
||||
> I miss the high, I live a lie
|
||||
> And one day we'll die, no one will care
|
||||
> Take me inside, I'll meet you there
|
||||
|
||||
> Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Who do you think you are?
|
||||
> Young man? Young man?
|
||||
> Yeah
|
||||
|
||||
> Man, I think you went too far
|
||||
> You can't stop the dance
|
||||
> Don't ever let 'em stop the dance, yeah
|
||||
> Are we all numb? Where are we goin'?
|
||||
> What have we become? It all keeps on rollin'
|
||||
> A little bit of light lets the hope grow
|
||||
> A lot goes on that they don't know
|
||||
> Just give me a sign, to show me somethin'
|
||||
> Is it my time? Can I stop runnin'?
|
||||
> Lost in the night and it's so cold
|
||||
> Forget the things that we don't know
|
||||
> I made my peace, can I go home?
|
||||
|
||||
> Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
|
||||
> To the girl named danger, so good to see you
|
||||
> Don't be a stranger, it's clear I need you
|
||||
> The angels will fall, not a saint after all
|
||||
> Back to the wall, let me free you
|
||||
> Protect me from evil, give me a reason
|
||||
> Where are the good people? Give us our freedom
|
||||
> Where are the dreamers?
|
||||
> Can you show me the dreamers?
|
||||
> And we are the creatures, prophets and teachers
|
||||
> We are believers, lost in amnesia
|
||||
> Will you let me fade away? I wanna fade away
|
||||
|
||||
> Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
> We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
|
||||
|
||||
> Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
|
||||
> Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
|
||||
> Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
|
||||
> Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
|
||||
18
src/content/post/sir-jony-ive-on-designing.mdx
Normal file
18
src/content/post/sir-jony-ive-on-designing.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: HRH Prince Charles and Sir Jony Ive on better design
|
||||
description: Sir Jony sure has opinions.
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-07-19"
|
||||
date: "2022-07-19"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
# HRH Prince Charles and Sir Jony Ive on designing for a better world
|
||||
|
||||
From *DEYAN SUDJIC* at Wallpaper.com -
|
||||
|
||||
> When Ive talks about design, his language is fiercely moralistic. ‘I am angry that most of what is made seems so thoughtless. So many products do not deserve to exist. The minimum that they should do to justify themselves and consume all that material is that their designers should care about them.
|
||||
|
||||
Who gets to say what kind of designs should and shouldn't exist? These are *products* not *spiritual* things.
|
||||
|
||||
Jony is a generational design talent but sometimes it's hard to get past a guy sniffing his own farts.
|
||||
|
||||
https://www.wallpaper.com/design/prince-charles-jony-ive-terra-carta-design-lab-august-issue
|
||||
25
src/content/post/social-image.mdx
Normal file
25
src/content/post/social-image.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Example OG Social Image
|
||||
description: An example post for Astro Cactus, detailing how to add a custom social image card in the frontmatter
|
||||
publishDate: 27 January 2023
|
||||
tags:
|
||||
- example
|
||||
- blog
|
||||
- image
|
||||
ogImage: /social-card.png
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## Adding your own social image to a post
|
||||
|
||||
This post is an example of how to add a custom [open graph](https://ogp.me/) social image, also known as an OG image, to a blog post.
|
||||
By adding the optional ogImage property to the frontmatter of a post, you opt out of [satori](https://github.com/vercel/satori) automatically generating an image for this page.
|
||||
|
||||
If you open this markdown file `src/content/post/social-image.md` you'll see the ogImage property set to an image which lives in the public folder[^1].
|
||||
|
||||
```yaml
|
||||
ogImage: "/social-card.png"
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
You can view the one set for this template page [here](https://astro-cactus.chriswilliams.dev/social-card.png).
|
||||
|
||||
[^1]: The image itself can be located anywhere you like.
|
||||
30
src/content/post/something-bittersweet.mdx
Normal file
30
src/content/post/something-bittersweet.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Something Bittersweet
|
||||
description: We didn't ask for the cards we were dealt and sometimes that's the part that gets you.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
date: "2024-02-09"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
In 2014 I decided to switch careers as a person who was below the poverty line and in their mid 30s. I met some incredible people, most of whom have gone on to have great careers; lots are senior software engineers, some have had success in multiple software roles. Some even got to party with top engineers from Netflix in San Francisco on a rooftop and get keynote speaker slots at well known conferences. Others have worked at Big Tech and have made a difference while doing so.
|
||||
|
||||
All of the engineers I speak of are Black in Tech and I love it. I am, too. But as I watch my friends go on about their business, I celebrate with sincerity; I could not be happier or prouder of the folks I made this journey with, I am also cognizant of my eternal struggle of just living daily while actually wanting to be on this earth willingly.
|
||||
|
||||
## The hands we're dealt
|
||||
|
||||
No one asks to be born. We just were. And no child asks to be born in the circumstances I found myself to be born in.
|
||||
|
||||
To be in those circumstances and to even be alive at the age I am is almost unheard of. For me to not be in jail or dead is to be celebrated. For me to have rented my own home while making 6 figures, even though it was only for a year, is to be lauded and given as a testament to human resilience. At the same time, I watch my friends soar and I realize that, as much as I have fought my entire life against the thought that some of the barriers I have had to overcome are not ones they have had to overcome. We all have our shit, all of us. We overcome that shit the best way we can. But for some of us, our brains just don't give a fuck and will try to end us from the moment we take our first breath until the moment we breathe our last. And it isn't anyone's fault. There isn't anyone to blame.
|
||||
|
||||
## Vague I know
|
||||
|
||||
My friend who also suffers from similar things and I were at a restaurant a couple years ago. He had his arms crossed, staring out the window.
|
||||
|
||||
I am sipping on my coke when he blurts out: *it's not fair. This just isn't fair. You know?*
|
||||
|
||||
Yes. I do.
|
||||
|
||||
And the callousness of saying to someone who's brain chemistry makes it hard for them to not want to suck on a pistol regularly that *life is unfair*, while true, isn't helpful. Shit, we know this. It doesn't make this shit hurt *less*.
|
||||
|
||||
You want to live like a productive member of society. Despite popular right wing rhetoric, no one wants to be given a handout, a handout that keeps you buried below the poverty line, lining up at food pantries, and hopping from project to project. No one wants that. If folks like me who don't have the advantages I've had in life, *in spite of* the fact my life has been like an episode of 48 Hours and Dateline, would be given the choice of working and being able to actually live a decent life and not working and lining up at the food bank, I assure you that 95% of those folks would pick working every fucking time, no matter the bullshit Fox News keeps telling your parents and grandparents.
|
||||
|
||||
I guess what I am saying is it hurts to see people thrive, knowing that if you had a better, no, *healthier* fucking brain you could thrive in the same way and you just can't, through no fault of your own. It feels like you're dying on Groundhog's Day and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it...
|
||||
11
src/content/post/spiraling-super-mario.mdx
Normal file
11
src/content/post/spiraling-super-mario.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Spiraling, a soundtrack
|
||||
description: Super Mario Bros 3, a classic
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-03-21"
|
||||
excerpt: Super Mario Bros 3, a classic
|
||||
date: "2025-03-21"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
If you want to know what it sounds like in the head of someone spiraling into depression, look no further than this:
|
||||
|
||||
<iframe width="100%" height="560" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/dqN0iyQypjM?si=M4_2w6-jcjzq6LDE&start=1311" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
|
||||
8
src/content/post/tech-bro-caveats.mdx
Normal file
8
src/content/post/tech-bro-caveats.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Please Don't Hear What I'm Not Saying
|
||||
description: Tech Bro Caveats
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-05-22"
|
||||
date: "2024-05-22"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Well maybe don't make what you're *not* saying so loud to those who don't share your experience.
|
||||
9
src/content/post/testing/draft-post.md
Normal file
9
src/content/post/testing/draft-post.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "A working draft title"
|
||||
description: "This post is for testing the draft post functionality"
|
||||
publishDate: "10 March 2024"
|
||||
tags: ["test"]
|
||||
draft: true
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
If this is working correctly, this post should only be accessible in a dev environment, as well as any tags that are unique to this post.
|
||||
8
src/content/post/testing/long-title.md
Normal file
8
src/content/post/testing/long-title.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "Lorem ipsum dolor sit, amet consectetur adipisicing elit. Id"
|
||||
description: "This post is purely for testing if the css is correct for the title on the page"
|
||||
publishDate: "01 Feb 2023"
|
||||
tags: ["test"]
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## Testing the title tag
|
||||
6
src/content/post/testing/missing-content.md
Normal file
6
src/content/post/testing/missing-content.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "This post doesn't have any content"
|
||||
description: "This post is purely for testing the table of content, which should not be rendered"
|
||||
publishDate: "22 Feb 2023"
|
||||
tags: ["test", "toc"]
|
||||
---
|
||||
12
src/content/post/testing/unique-tags.md
Normal file
12
src/content/post/testing/unique-tags.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: "Unique tags validation"
|
||||
publishDate: "30 January 2023"
|
||||
description: "This post is used for validating if duplicate tags are removed, regardless of the string case"
|
||||
tags: ["blog", "blog", "Blog", "test", "bloG", "Test", "BLOG"]
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## This post is to test zod transform
|
||||
|
||||
If you open the file `src/content/post/unique-tags.md`, the tags array has a number of duplicate blog strings of various cases.
|
||||
|
||||
These are removed as part of the removeDupsAndLowercase function found in `src/content/config.ts`.
|
||||
14
src/content/post/thank-you-oss.mdx
Normal file
14
src/content/post/thank-you-oss.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Thank u, OSS
|
||||
description: Keeping the poors entertained since 1999.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-02-07"
|
||||
date: "2024-02-07"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
I am still out of work and times are a bit rough.
|
||||
|
||||
But with a few open source tools, a little *command line fu*, I have all of the music and movies I could possibly want.
|
||||
|
||||
Thank u, OSS.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
12
src/content/post/tough-times-require-awesome-music.mdx
Normal file
12
src/content/post/tough-times-require-awesome-music.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Tough Times Require Awesome Music
|
||||
description: Hurts so bad it's... actually terrible
|
||||
publishDate: "2022-09-12"
|
||||
date: "2022-09-12"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
So it's a Foo Fighters type of night.
|
||||
|
||||
♥️ Dave Grohl.
|
||||
|
||||
<iframe style="border-radius:12px" src="https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/4EnNuo8fG7dMoxMefbApRY?utm_source=generator" width="100%" height="600" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen="" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" loading="lazy"></iframe>
|
||||
68
src/content/post/webmentions.mdx
Normal file
68
src/content/post/webmentions.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,68 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Adding Webmentions to Astro Cactus
|
||||
description: This post describes the process of adding webmentions to your own site
|
||||
publishDate: 11 Oct 2023
|
||||
updatedDate: 6 December 2024
|
||||
tags:
|
||||
- webmentions
|
||||
- astro
|
||||
- social
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
## TLDR
|
||||
|
||||
1. Add a link on your homepage to either your GitHub profile and/or email address as per [IndieLogin's](https://indielogin.com/setup) instructions. You _could_ do this via `src/components/SocialList.astro`, just be sure to include `isWebmention` to the relevant link if doing so.
|
||||
2. Create an account @ [Webmention.io](https://webmention.io/) by entering your website's address.
|
||||
3. Add the link feed and api key to a `.env` file with the key `WEBMENTION_URL` and `WEBMENTION_API_KEY` respectively, you could rename `.env.example` found in this template. You can also add the optional `WEBMENTION_PINGBACK` link here too.
|
||||
4. Go to [brid.gy](https://brid.gy/) and sign-in to each social account[s] you wish to link.
|
||||
5. Publish and build your website, remember to add the api key, and it should now be ready to receive webmentions!
|
||||
|
||||
## What are webmentions
|
||||
|
||||
Put simply, it's a way to show users who like, comment, repost and more, on various pages on your website via social media.
|
||||
|
||||
This theme displays the number of likes, mentions and replies each blog post receives. There are a couple of more webmentions that I haven't included, like reposts, which are currently filtered out, but shouldn't be too difficult to include.
|
||||
|
||||
## Steps to add it to your own site
|
||||
|
||||
Your going to have to create a couple of accounts to get things up-and-running. But, the first thing you need to ensure is that your social links are correct.
|
||||
|
||||
### Add link(s) to your profile(s)
|
||||
|
||||
Firstly, you need to add a link on your site to prove ownership. If you have a look at [IndieLogin's](https://indielogin.com/setup) instructions, it gives you 2 options, either an email address and/or GitHub account. I've created the component `src/components/SocialList.astro` where you can add your details into the `socialLinks` array, just include the `isWebmention` property to the relevant link which will add the `rel="me authn"` attribute. Whichever way you do it, make sure you have a link in your markup as per IndieLogin's [instructions](https://indielogin.com/setup)
|
||||
|
||||
```html
|
||||
<a href="https://github.com/your-username" rel="me">GitHub</a>
|
||||
```
|
||||
|
||||
### Sign up to Webmention.io
|
||||
|
||||
Next, head over to [Webmention.io](https://webmention.io/) and create an account by signing in with your domain name, e.g. `https://astro-cactus.chriswilliams.dev/`. Please note that .app TLDs don't function correctly. Once in, it will give you a couple of links for your domain to accept webmentions. Make a note of these and create a `.env` file (this template include an example `.env.example` which you could rename). Add the link feed and api key with the key/values of `WEBMENTION_URL` and `WEBMENTION_API_KEY` respectively, and the optional `WEBMENTION_PINGBACK` url if required. Please try not to publish this to a repository!
|
||||
|
||||
:::note
|
||||
You don't have to include the pingback link. Maybe coincidentally, but after adding it I started to receive a higher frequency of spam in my mailbox, informing me that my website could be better. TBH they're not wrong. I've now removed it, but it's up to you.
|
||||
:::
|
||||
|
||||
### Sign up to Brid.gy
|
||||
|
||||
You're now going to have to use [brid.gy](https://brid.gy/). As the name suggests, it links your website to your social media accounts. For every account you want to set up (e.g. Mastodon), click on the relevant button and connect each account you want brid.gy to search. Just to note again, brid.gy currently has an issue with .app TLDs.
|
||||
|
||||
## Testing everything works
|
||||
|
||||
With everything set, it's now time to build and publish your website. **REMEMBER** to set your environment variables `WEBMENTION_API_KEY` & `WEBMENTION_URL` with your host.
|
||||
|
||||
You can check to see if everything is working by sending a test webmention via [webmentions.rocks](https://webmention.rocks/receive/1). Log in with your domain, enter the auth code, and then the url of the page you want to test. For example, to test this page I would add `https://astro-cactus.chriswilliams.dev/posts/webmentions/`. To view it on your website, rebuild or (re)start dev mode locally, and you should see the result at the bottom of your page.
|
||||
|
||||
You can also view any test mentions in the browser via their [api](https://github.com/aaronpk/webmention.io#api).
|
||||
|
||||
## Things to add, things to consider
|
||||
|
||||
- At the moment, fresh webmentions are only fetched on a rebuild or restarting dev mode, which obviously means if you don't update your site very often you wont get a lot of new content. It should be quite trivial to add a cron job to run the `getAndCacheWebmentions()` function in `src/utils/webmentions.ts` and populate your blog with new content. This is probably what I'll add next as a github action.
|
||||
|
||||
- I have seen some mentions have duplicates. Unfortunately, they're quite difficult to filter out as they have different id's.
|
||||
|
||||
- I'm not a huge fan of the little external link icon for linking to comments/replies. It's not particularly great on mobile due to its size, and will likely change it in the future.
|
||||
|
||||
## Acknowledgements
|
||||
|
||||
Many thanks to [Kieran McGuire](https://github.com/chrismwilliams/astro-theme-cactus/issues/107#issue-1863931105) for sharing this with me, and the helpful posts. I'd never heard of webmentions before, and now with this update hopefully others will be able to make use of them. Additionally, articles and examples from [kld](https://kld.dev/adding-webmentions/) and [ryanmulligan.dev](https://ryanmulligan.dev/blog/) really helped in getting this set up and integrated, both a great resource if you're looking for more information!
|
||||
27
src/content/post/working-in-tech-made-me-a-socialist.mdx
Normal file
27
src/content/post/working-in-tech-made-me-a-socialist.mdx
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Working in Tech Made Me a Socialist
|
||||
description: From someone who proclaimed themselves to be a staunch capitalist.
|
||||
publishDate: "2024-01-03"
|
||||
date: "2024-01-03"
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
If working in corporate in an industry with money flowing out of every orifice with dudes who honestly believe a website that allows you to just say 'yo' to someone is worth billions of dolllars with billions of personal wealth, their companies still raking in massive revenues and profits then layoff people who are pregnant right before Christmas, is capitalism, ***fuck that noise***.
|
||||
|
||||
## Fuck you, got mine
|
||||
|
||||
These pseudo intellectually dishonest libertarian Wish brand Joe Rogan wannabes are doing the following:
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
1. Laying off people who are here on H1B Visas
|
||||
2. Rescinding offers to immigrants who moved here to work at like Google or Amazon and now have no funds or ability to work here in the states. They give up every fucking thing to come here for billionaires to fuck them in the ass at every turn.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
I am on LinkedIn, I see this shit happen every fucking day.
|
||||
|
||||
There's one woman begging for work, anything at all. She's put in 1000 applications, had several interviews, and has been ghosted multiple times. She's facing homelessness and has a daughter and said she has had some dark thoughts lately but she's willing to take anything at all. You know what's happened since?
|
||||
|
||||
👻👻👻
|
||||
|
||||
Like I applied to a customer call center job for PNC and they didn't get back to me for months and then rejected my application. I am completely capable of doing the job, I am criminally over-qualified for it, and yet.
|
||||
|
||||
Well, comrades. Watching the world burn and consuming LeftTube has given me a chance to pick up my sickle and head for the resistance, whatever that looks like.
|
||||
4
src/content/reviews/reviews.md
Normal file
4
src/content/reviews/reviews.md
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: Reviews
|
||||
publishDate: "2025-05-31T16:56:29Z"
|
||||
---
|
||||
Loading…
Add table
Add a link
Reference in a new issue